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ANALYSIS OF DON & LIZ!--"The Truth Revolution"--Part 2 11/79 DO 2457
(Introduction from "The Truth Revolution!" TSOOC 90, by Sara:)
NEAR THE END OF OCTOBER, NOT ONLY DID ALF, MYSELF & THE TWO OLDER KIDS MOVE AS PLANNED to a nearby campground with our caravan, but the Folks suggested that Don & Liz's team join us as well, & this way their training could continue under us, & the children could all be together. Dear Dad & Maria chose the very plots for our caravans & even drove out to see us set up the day we moved, being the concerned, sweet Shepherds that they are! GBT! Don & Liz's team were parked just across the street from our caravan, as they had chosen a very nice secondhand caravan which the Folks had actually recommended they buy with their funds.
OUR WHOLE CAMPING TEAM, DON & LIZ'S FAMILY, TOGETHER WITH ALF, MYSELF & THE KIDS COMMUTED TO THE STAFF HOME every other night for dinner & to work together on various pubs projects. We grew to be very close to Liz especially during this time, whereas Don, although we also loved him very much, was obviously having quite a LOT of trials, which showed in his day-to-day countenance & behaviour. Maria requested daily reports from our camping team as to what we accomplished hourly & personnel behaviour, etc.
AFTER READING OUR FIRST FEW REPORTS, MARIA POINTED OUT THAT IT WAS OUR DUTY TO CORRECT ANY SITUATION THAT WAS NOT GOING RIGHT, especially with newcomers, as people always go on from our house to represent Dad & Maria & their sample, & this representation always carries so much further than we'd ever expect! She encouraged us that Peter & myself should talk specifically to LIZ, who was obviously the spiritual leader of the group, & very openly & lovingly bring out the points that we thought might need correction in her team so as to help them improve & be able to do more for the Lord.
KNOWING THAT THIS WOULD ACTUALLY HELP & EVEN ENCOURAGE LIZ & REALLY BE A BREAKTHROUGH FOR OUR NEW TEAM, we pointed out these few areas, such as diligence, less open criticism, more team unity, etc., to Liz, & she took this opportunity to pour out her heart & explain more about their personal lives together over the last several years. She described her husband as being so "very SENSITIVE" they never quite knew how he would react to things. He had such a "broken heart" that he'd cry easily, stay up at night worrying & talking about his trials, & would resort to drinking to settle his problems! Both the wives were scared to ever say anything derogatory about his mannerism, attitude or bad habits, as he would flare up in a violent temper & usually blamed Liz for most of his problems, as she had had a brief interest in another brother sometime before, which she had had to stop because of Don's jealousy, but for which he never "forgave her." In fact, he strongly believed that Liz had STUMBLED him & weakened him because of her friendship & interest in another brother. She admitted that she knew that he would be furious that we had "separated" her from him in order to talk to her, & that he would definitely not receive it that Maria or anyone considered her the spiritual leader of their team, as this was just what he'd been fighting against all these years.
SURE ENOUGH, AS SOON AS WE FINISHED OUR PRAYER & DISCUSSION WITH LIZ, we all noted that Don was completely embittered & obviously fuming with fury that we had counselled primarily with Liz. He complained openly that the way we did things "smacked of the old ways" & "I just don't agree with the way you go about things here!"
NEXT WE EXPLAINED TO BOTH DON & LIZ THAT DAD & MARIA ALWAYS PREFER TO HEAR BOTH SIDES OF EVERY STORY, as you can never fully judge by any one person's story on anything. So it was our turn to talk with Don, as Maria had suggested we do at this point & she had given us the specific questions & notes to cover, which of course we expected would be understood by anyone working within our household! She also suggested that the rest of the Family fast & pray that day, everyone knowing about our talk with Don, as he was quite spiritually weak & obviously bothered by this confrontation.
IN THIS MEETING DON SAT BETWEEN HIS TWO WIVES, LIZ & JILL, each of them with their arms around him, but who remained quite silent the entire time & let him do the talking. In spite of the points brought out by Dad & Maria for Don, he replied, "I'm not having any problems! I've already got the victory! There's no need to cover this. It's just that I DON'T AGREE with the way things are done here!"
LORD HELP US! WHAT TO DO NOW? DAD HAD ALREADY SENSED PREVIOUS TO THIS THAT THINGS WERE JUST NOT GOING RIGHT WITH OUR NEW TEAM & cautioned us that we were sitting on a very serious situation, & to be sure not to get involved with any challenging statements & to proceed with caution & prayer. He also was very disappointed & even discouraged about it all, but both Dad & Maria kept real faith that it'd all work out!
HAVING VIEWED THE MOVIE "TESS" & HAVING GLEANED MANY GOOD LESSONS FROM IT on selfishness, bitterness, selfish love & pride & how revenge can ruin your life, Dad & Maria suggested that ALL of our team see this movie, as it had many good lessons for us to learn & apply. He gave a talk at dinnertime beforehand explaining the movie to us in full, directing it more or less to Don & Liz, who were there with the Staff Home this particular night that Dad joined us there for dinner. In spite of Dad's beautiful comments on the movie & relating it to us as needed lessons of love to learn, Don commented after seeing it that it was a misery to sit through & that he DISAGREED with the way WE interpreted it! He was MAD that we had all enjoyed the movie & that Dad had made those comments, which must've made this hit dog HOWL!
DAD SEVERELY WARNED PETER, ALF & MYSELF IN A SECURITY TALK, THAT ALF & I WOULD HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE HOUSE FROM NOW ON so as to keep a watchful eye on the other team, keep them busy & try our best to help & train them while they were still with us, as he was sorry that they had even come & that we had not really interviewed them & "felt them out" first, or tried them out some other place before coming to our own house! Still, Dad & Maria showed so much mercy & understanding, wanting to do their best to HELP them in this difficult time & continually hoping for the best.
MARIA SUGGESTED THAT EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE WRITE A REPORT COVERING IN DETAIL THESE POINTS: "1) How I do not agree with the way we do things, 2) How I could get more done, & 3) Answer this question, 'Are you really happy & fulfilled?'" Can you imagine the Folks even feeling like we wouldn't be happy in their Home, that we would disagree or that we would have any complaints against them? It was almost an unbelievable situation! LHU all, & we could hardly imagine it was really true that people could actually feel that way, & what's worse, that others could support them in their feelings rather than stand up for the truth & for the House of David!!
MARIA ALSO HAD LIZ WRITE A DETAILED PERSONAL REPORT DESCRIBING EVERY PROBLEM THAT SHE HAD EVER ENCOUNTERED WITH HER HUSBAND, answering mainly the question, "Who are you loyal to?" More & more information came out about Don losing his violent temper & slinging around his wives in their bedroom, giving them third-degree quizzes on any other sex life, FFing, or witnessing activities with the male sex, which was very limited, & bad habits with drinking, listening to System music, etc. It seemed the more we encouraged Liz to be honest & tell the truth, the more "shockers" we'd hear about, but she was so liberated just to be free about telling all with an honest heart!
(After reading Don & Liz's reports they were asked to write, Dad commented:)
1. HE DOESN'T GET SPECIFIC! I keep wondering, "Well, what is he talking about?" It's erratic, he contradicts things all the way through. He says one thing & then he turns right around & contradicts it! There are only two things that I can remember from his whole report that he didn't like: He didn't like them telling him not to chew gum, & he didn't like 11 people in the diesel. (The used car bought for Don's family.) And neither one of those things were the big problems that he's been having.
2. IN OTHER WORDS, HE DOESN'T REALLY COME CLEAN! He's not honest about it, he doesn't tell you what his real problems are. He picks out ridiculous little things, something in which he was really justified, like 11 passengers in the car, or something that he feels was really unjustified, quibbling over chewing gum!--Both of which he figured he could get some sympathy in.
3. BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN MENTION HIS MAIN PROBLEM AT ALL & THE THINGS THAT HAVE CAUSED THE MOST TROUBLE! He just talks in generalities & he doesn't really tell what he is talking about, & he just keeps contradicting himself. It's pitiful. Poor fellow.
"ILL-STARRED!"
4. (MARIA: WHAT DO YOU THINK "ILL-STARRED" ACTUALLY MEANS? I looked it up in the dictionary & it says, "Born under an unlucky star," but I can't find what it means exactly. It must have some kind of actual astrological or scientific meaning, not just "unlucky" like we use it. There must be something about it that's actually valid.)
5. THE BIBLE SAYS, "SHALL THE THING FORMED SAY TO HIM THAT FORMED IT, WHY HAST THOU MADE ME THUS?"--Rom.9:20. But you see, the point is, if you don't like the way you're made, give Him a chance & He'll REMAKE you! These people who defend themselves & defend the way they're made, how are they going to have a chance to be remade when they don't even WANT to be remade? They say they want to change, but they don't really. They only say that because they know they should try to please.
6. PAUL TALKS ABOUT IT WHEN HE'S TALKING ABOUT JACOB & ESAU! God said, "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated."--Rom.9:13. "Esau sought a place of repentance & he found it not, even though he sought it carefully with tears."--Heb.12:17. He couldn't change what had happened. So it seems like there are some things that are just that way, that's the design, there's no way to change it.
7. IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR SIGN, YOU MIGHT IMPROVE & YOU MIGHT STAY ON THE GOOD SIDE, & I may try to get the best out of mine, but I'm still an Aquarian! You're still YOU, in other words, but it's what you DO with you that counts! In the movie "Tess," she was just obviously born stubborn & proud & selfish, extremely selfish!--Extremely proud & extremely stubborn.
8. (MARIA: I DIDN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT SISERA--"THE STARS IN THEIR COURSES FOUGHT AGAINST SISERA."--Jud.5:20.) Well, there are all kinds of interpretations of that, but the usual interpretation was that he just couldn't win for losing, because the stars were against him, the signs were against him. And of course God DESIGNED the signs & ordains the stars & guides their courses, & God was against Sisera because he was an enemy of His people. He lost the battle & he was on the run & he couldn't even find any place to hide. He thought he had, but he lost his life.--What you call a born loser all the way around, like that girl, Tess.
9. (MARIA: BUT WHY DOES GOD MAKE PEOPLE LIKE THAT?) Maybe to be dandy bad examples. (Maria: But what if they couldn't help it?) Oh, Honey, that's their proclivity. They CAN help it! God gives us CHOICE. He didn't force Adam & Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, He just made it possible & gave them the choice, & they made the WRONG choice.
10. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT EXTREME PREDESTINARIAN VIEW THAT YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF, that you're just destined to be saved or unsaved, or lost or whatever & there's nothing you can do about it. I don't believe that's so! That would destroy free will entirely, & the whole plan of God is built on free will, within certain limitations, of course. He's not going to let Man go too far with his evil, & Man has a choice up to certain outside limitations of what he can do, but he DOES have a choice! He can improve & overcome his sign & his weaknesses if he strives hard enough with the Lord's help.
"TESS" & SUN SIGNS!
11. BUT TESS NEVER EVEN TRIED TO OVERCOME, SHE JUST KEPT YIELDING TO HER BASER INSTINCTS, which was not sex but her damn selfish pride! She just always made the wrong decision. (Maria: So a little rundown of the movie in just a couple of sentences would be what?)--Pride, stubbornness, selfishness! (Maria: You said that in the movie you never saw so many people that were so proud & selfish & wrecked their own lives!)--Stubborn & self-righteous!
12. I AGREE WITH DON ON THAT, HE SAID IT WAS A RATHER TORTUROUS & UNPLEASANT MOVIE, BUT IT WAS CERTAINLY TRUE TO LIFE! (Maria: And the only good person in there was a supposedly bad person.)--Exactly! The good people were the ones who were bad, & the bad one was the one who was really good. The supposedly BAD person was the only GOOD one & the supposedly GOOD people were the BAD ones!--A contradiction of people's usual assessments & appraisals of personality.
13. THE RELIGIOUS WERE THE MOST SELF-RIGHTEOUS & UNFORGIVING & UNMERCIFUL! Even the old drunk had a few good traits & showed a little mercy. Maybe that's one of the secrets of the story, that he was giving the girl her own choice. He didn't force her or make her, but obviously he knew how to handle her, because if he'd told her to go, she would have probably stubbornly refused! But because he let her make her own choice, she had to do what she pleased. That's probably why she was that way, because he spoiled her, letting her always have her way. It's sort of surprising that he made a picture that honest!
14. (MARIA: WHAT WAS YOUR QUESTION WHEN YOU GOT THAT ANSWER ABOUT BEING ILL-STARRED, WHAT WERE YOU ASKING?) How could anybody have so much trouble & make so many wrong decisions & be such a mess?--I just got "ill-starred"! (Maria: But that probably pertained more to all the misfortunes that she went through than what she actually DID with them, don't you think? But even if she was ill-starred, she could have risen above it & not had to wallow in all that.)--Right, regardless, even if we're born under a sign that's not one of the best.
15. (MARIA: DO YOU THINK SOME SIGNS ARE REALLY BETTER SIGNS THAN OTHERS?) Well, each one's got its purpose, I'm sure. The Lord's got purposes in each one & each one has certain strengths & each one has certain weaknesses, but it's what we do with the choices we make that matters. Some might say, "Why hast Thou made me thus?" Well, He HAS made us thus, but He can HELP us, & make the best of it! Tess made the worst of it all the way through. She almost always did the wrong thing, almost like she was cursed from the beginning. Sometimes children suffer for the sins of their parents.
16. (MARIA: BUT IN HER PRAYER WHEN SHE WAS PRAYING ABOUT THE BABY, SHE SAID, "I KNOW I'VE DONE WRONG, BUT HAVE MERCY ON THE BABY." She asked for forgiveness, it was like she was admitting that it was her fault. Of course, I don't know if that was a sincere prayer, whether she really felt that way or not.) Honey, that kind of a prayer reminds me of this kind of a so-called confession: "I know I've done wrong, but..." or "I know I'm a problem & I want to do better..."
17. THEY MEAN IT AT THE TIME, BUT THEY TURN RIGHT AROUND & KEEP ON DOING IT! She knew she'd done wrong, but she kept right on DOING it. If she knew she'd done wrong, why didn't she STOP it? In a way, that kind of confession isn't even sincere or honest. It's only like, "Well, I know I've done wrong because you SAY I've done wrong, but all the time, down in my own heart, I know it's okay to chew gum & I was right about how many people were in the car," etc.
18. IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE SPANKING A CHILD & THEY SAY, "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I GOT CAUGHT! I'm sorry because you say I OUGHT to be sorry, but I'm not REALLY sorry!" It's pitiful! If he heard this, he would be hurt, especially, because he is the kind that is so sensitive & so easily hurt, & that shows how proud he is.
LIZ'S LETTER!
19. SOME PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY PROUD OF BEING SENSITIVE & THINK THAT BEING SENSITIVE IS A GOOD THING! (Maria: You know how he took that Letter "The Secret" (No.845) where you said we should be emotional & not intellectual & cold & cruel & calculating? Because he IS so emotional, he took it that having spells & tantrums & hurt periods & everything is the kind of emotion you mean!) That's the WORST kind of emotion! I was talking about LOVE & being led by your HEART, it wasn't talking about TEMPER TANTRUMS & little FITS!
20. HE'S SELFISH! HE'S MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HIMSELF & HIS OWN PROBLEMS: "AM I DOING WELL? I'M TRYING TO PLEASE!" He shows very little outgoing concern. Some people are not really sincerely concerned about others, they're only really concerned about themselves & what you think about them. He's constantly just talking about himself & his battles, with obviously very little concern about others or what battles THEY might be going through. (Maria reads Liz's report:)
21. (MARIA: LIZ SAYS, "I DO LOVE DON A WHOLE LOT & WANT TO BE A GOOD WIFE TO HIM & A GOOD MOTHER TO THE CHILDREN & A GOOD SAMPLE TO JILL, BUT MY FIRST & FOREMOST LOVE IS THE LORD & YOU, & I would do anything for you as I love you so so much & need you & want to be a blessing to you most of all." It sounds pretty good, but we might want to put her to the test.) Yes, that remains to be seen. People really do want to be that way, that's the way they really feel, but when they have to DO it, then sometimes it gets a little different. "Let not him that putteth his armour on, boast as him that putteth it off!"--1Kg.20:11. The Lord will soon see if she really MEANS that! Sometimes people really THINK they mean it & they WANT to mean it, but when it comes down to the crunch, the real test, well, they can't make it.
22. (MARIA: LIZ SAYS, "IF SOMEONE SAYS I HAVE SOME COMPLAINTS, I CAN'T REALLY THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN A FEW LITTLE THINGS IN THE WAY DON & I COMMUNICATE, or I should say, in the way we DON'T communicate sometimes. He may get mad at me for talking about him, because he never wants me to say anything about him, because he says it's nobody's business but his. I disagree & I've told him before that I think he should talk more to people & give his opinions. He is one to keep quiet, even if he disagrees with something or doesn't understand something most of the time." That's hypocritical!)
23. IF HE WOULD LOOK IN THE MIRROR & SEE HIMSELF AS OTHERS SEE HIM, MAYBE IT WOULD WAKE HIM UP! He's selfish, proud & hypocritical! (Maria: He won't say anything.) And he doesn't want HER to tell anybody anything. In other words, he doesn't want to be exposed, & that's the hypocrite. The greatest fear of the hypocrite is exposure! (Maria continues reading Liz's letter:)
24. ("I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP KEEP ME IN CHECK & HE REALLY HEARS FROM THE LORD MORE THAN I DO, I FEEL.") At least he's got HER convinced of it anyway! (Maria: Yes, he's really got her convinced! She says, "I'm pretty stubborn & hard-headed & can be unloving at times, not because I don't love or have love, but I guess I'm awful proud.") Ha ha! I can just hear him!--The pot calling the kettle black!
25. (MARIA: SHE SAYS, "I KNOW THE LORD & YOU LOVE ME VERY MUCH OR I WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO BE HERE, & I know the Lord knows what He's doing, & I want to be exposed no matter how hard it is! I want to get closer to the Lord & I want to be used of Him no matter what He wants me to do. I'm really happy about what the Lord is teaching me in my marriage to Don & I want to keep trying & keep going for the Lord, & I realise that our relationship is a blessing from the Lord.") He's convinced her of that too.
26. (MARIA: HE'S CLEVER WITH WORDS! In one sentence she says, "I want to be used of Him no matter what He wants me to do," then she says, "I'm really happy about what the Lord is teaching me in my marriage to Don."--As if he has convinced her that the Lord's highest Will for her is to be married to him! She goes from one statement right into the other! It's like, "Well, I know that's my cross, I know that's my duty in life.") As though, "If it fails, it will be my fault, not his." Or even, "If our marriage is not so good, it's not his fault, it's mine." (Maria: Oh, I think he's very convinced of that!) And I'm sure he's convinced HER of that!
27. (MARIA READS: "I SURE DON'T WANT IT TO HURT ANYONE THOUGH, SO I KNOW I NEED TO WORK EVEN HARDER TO CHANGE SO I CAN BE A BETTER HELPMEET."--As though this was her highest goal in life! Because that is evidently the thing that he's convinced her is the greatest thing she could do for the Lord, is to help him, be a helpmeet!) Well, he certainly needs a lot of help, that's for sure! (Maria continues reading: "I've poured out a lot to Sara & she really understood some of the problems that Don & I have, but I don't feel that it's anything that any marriage doesn't go through.")
28. SHE'S CONSTANTLY EXCUSING HIM & BLAMING HERSELF! She is taking all the blame & accepting all his accusations! (Maria: She says, "I do feel we're getting victories more than we ever have before & I'm so thankful." If they're getting more victories now than ever, what was life like BEFORE?) She's yielding more & he's getting his way more!
29. HE'S SCARED TO DEATH TO HAVE HER TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR FEAR SHE WILL TELL THE AWFUL TRUTH & EXPOSE HIM! (Maria: He stands around everywhere, just looking in on her all the time & standing around when she's with somebody.) I don't know what it is about redheads, but it seems to me that almost every one of them that I ever knew was like that--extremely sensitive & extremely concerned about what people thought about them.
30. HE IS SO SUSPICIOUS & MISTRUSTFUL! (Maria: He's not so suspicious as he is just afraid she is going to talk to people, that's the thing he's more scared about than anything.)--And expose him! (Maria: She says, "I believe that God made marriages & mates & I'm so thankful for it, but I also feel that being close to your family & being able to talk about feelings isn't wrong. I think I'm venturing out by faith by talking to Sara like I have.") Thank God she's willing to, God bless her! (Maria: It's such a victory for her! It's such a big step, she says she's venturing out by faith just to talk to somebody. Poor girl!)
31. YES, & THAT'S VERY ADVENTUROUS FAITH THAT SHE IS DARING TO DO SOMETHING SHE KNOWS HE WOULDN'T LIKE! She has to do it in secret & hide it in order to do it. She IS being very daring & bold & brave! (Maria: Oh dear! Poor girl! She says, "I don't want to cause disunity between Don & I, that's the last thing I want to do"--& that must be what he accuses her of doing all the time.) Of course, that it's always HER fault. (Maria: "But it seems that in the last three years, he & I haven't been able to be very unified on our own & maybe another person's objective view would help us.")
32. HE OBVIOUSLY BLAMES IT ALL ON HER--HIS CONFESSION WAS ALMOST A SCREAM! I mean, she is really open & his is such a cover-up. I never could stand people like that with their hypocritical cover-ups! (Maria: He's also got her convinced that the reason that they disagree on things is just because they are different people, you know, or because she's wrong. She says, "He & I disagree on quite a few things because we're different people. Like the other night, I really liked the movie 'Tess' & learned a lot from it, but Don didn't like it & he was hurt that I liked it so much." Can you imagine? He even gets hurt if she likes something that he doesn't like!) Well, it was the hit dog that howled!
33. (MARIA: IT'S SO WONDERFUL LIVING WITH YOU, HONEY, I REALLY HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!) We have so much in common, we agree on so much! (Maria: Can you imagine somebody getting upset just because you like something they don't?) Well, it would be kind of unpleasant if you were ALWAYS liking different things, but you & I like the same things! We get along so good, Honey, we just almost agree on everything! (Maria: Amen! And if I don't agree, you bring me around to your point of view! And then I agree pretty soon, anyway!--Ha!)
34. (LIZ SAYS, "HE GOES THROUGH IT IF OUR OPINIONS DIFFER BECAUSE HE SAYS THAT IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE WE'RE NOT UNIFIED--IS THAT TRUE?" He's got her so confused & so hoodwinked that she doesn't know. She says, "Is that true?--The way I look at it, different people look at things differently. Maybe we're so totally out of the Spirit & that's why we have differences of opinion. I'm a bit confused." She really is confused, because we tried to bring out that she is the spiritual leader, & she didn't even accept that because he's got her so convinced that she's out of it! It sounds to me very much like those old Chain leaders.) Yes, the "king" can do no wrong! (Maria: The wives were always being convinced that their husbands were the spiritual leaders...)--And were beaten down.
35. (MARIA: SHE SAYS, "WELL, I SAY I DON'T HAVE ANY REAL BIG COMPLAINTS, just a few little things I thought I would dig up, but maybe I'm not facing reality & maybe I have a few complaints that I'm belittling." Now, if she can't even think of complaints, she must have some that she's not thinking of. "I sure could use your help & counsel & forgiveness if I have a bad attitude. I know where my heart's at & that's with the Lord. I never knew, though, what I was getting myself into when I got saved! Ha! The Baptists told me I'd never have to worry again & could do my own thing the rest of my life. Boy, have they got a lot to learn!") Ha! That's cute!--The Baptist doctrine! That is a scream! Boy, have they got a lot to learn, that's for sure!
36. (MARIA: SHE SAYS, "I'D BETTER CUT THIS OFF & I HOPE IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED IN ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS ON THIS LITTLE NOTE. I'm in the victory & I'm really happy & thankful for the lessons of life & love that I'm learning.") She's the one who's really got the victory, that's for sure. Anybody who could get the victory over him has really got the victory! (Maria: She says, "I want to change & keep learning. I hope I'm not too much of a burden.")
DAD'S CHARACTER ANALYSIS!
37. I GUESS JILL MUST WORSHIP HIM SORT OF LIKE A LITTLE GOD, & THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS. That's what some people want. Like my brother--people worshipped him like a god & he just loved it! He really tried to play the part. Do I do that, Honey? (Maria: No, Honey!) I like people's love, I do, but I know what a mess I am, & I know you know what a mess I am & everybody here knows what a mess I am, so I could never possibly get conceited about it. I never feel very godly!
38. THAT'S WHY EVE & I HARDLY EVER GOT ALONG, BECAUSE SHE FELT SO GODLY & SO RIGHTEOUS & I FELT SO UNGODLY & UNRIGHTEOUS & she constantly rubbed it in & was constantly convincing me of how righteous SHE was! (Maria: Sounds like Don & Liz!) Yes! But in the end, it looks like maybe Eve wasn't so righteous after all! Ha! Maybe my kind of wickedness is a little bit closer to righteousness--like that guy in the movie! (Maria: That was really a good lesson!) He really loved her, it was real genuine love, & she couldn't receive it. She finally even killed the only man that really loved her, turned around & murdered him!
39. IT'S JUST LIKE SHE COULDN'T STAND LOVE, SHE COULDN'T STAND TO BE LOVED BECAUSE IT MIGHT REQUIRE SOMETHING OF HER! She was so selfish, so stubborn & self-righteous that she didn't even want people to love her! Because if people LOVE you, then you OWE'M something! (Maria: Liz says, "I hope I'm not too much of a burden on you folks, & if I am, please let me know & I'll go wherever the Lord wants me to go!") Ha! I wish HE'D go instead! (Maria: Sara says she's a blessing & a help but he's nothing but a constant problem.) All I hear about him is problems.
40. IT'S REALLY ALMOST UNBELIEVABLE! My brother wasn't happy with his wife. Oh, he beat her down! I almost got in fights with him when I was living with him over the way he treated her. He just made her feel like he was perfect & there was nobody worse than she was. I saw her cry so many times! She was a rather proud sort herself, she wasn't the kind that usually cried, but oh boy, he could cut people down! He was one of the most critical guys I ever knew! He gave the impression that he figured that he was perfect & everybody else was wrong, & he could sure cut'm down!
41. (MARIA: WELL, LIZ MUST BE PRETTY HUMBLE BY NOW!--Because can you imagine having your husband taking another woman that's just like a novice & then putting her up as a sample instead of you--"she loves me & you don't"--& having your faults & failures exposed. Liz has sure taken a lot!) Obviously Liz is not taking it all, though, she is not necessarily believing it all. She deserves some right to disagree with him. She must have a few convictions. Well, for a Leo, I would say she's certainly humble!
42. WELL, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, HE'S GOING TO BLAME IT ON YOU ANYHOW, HE'S NOT GOING TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR ANYTHING!--Just like my brother! Whew! He was perfect & he knew it!--And he demanded worship! Poor fellow, what a breaking, humbling process God had to put him through! I mean, he just practically had to hit bottom!
43. (MARIA: I GUESS WE'RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. Maybe the Lord brought him over here to really give Liz a chance. God sure goes to great lengths to free people & have them serve Him. I still think she should be the leader.) It's obvious she's the strongest one in character, but she's just allowed him to beat her down. (Maria: I don't know how she could have even taken it!) Honey, look how YOU'VE taken it! (Maria: No, Honey!) (Dad gives Maria seven kisses!) (Maria: Honey, you're wonderful, you're so good to me!)
44. IT JUST SHOWS YOU THAT THAT KIND OF A PERSONALITY IS EXTREMELY SELFISH, self-centered, egotistical, proud, self-righteous & sensitive. People like him just seem like they've got about all the bad traits you can think of, except the surface charm. When I read how he described all his talents & skills & everything else, I thought, "Boy, that really is something! He's really something!" And the thought did cross my mind at the time that, "Well, he does sound a bit egotistical & proud of himself, but maybe he's just being honest about his accomplishments," etc. After all, we wanted to know & we asked him & so he's telling us.
45. I DIDN'T REALISE THEN THAT HE WAS REALLY, REALLY BRAGGING & IT'S HIS TENDENCY TO BRAG! That's one thing about that type of personality, they do brag! They are really "stuck on themselves," as we used to say. But if you would tell them so, they absolutely wouldn't believe it. They put on a charming false modesty. But if we would suggest they would leave & go & do something else, he would probably go out & blame us for it all.
46. THAT'S THE PROBLEM, WHAT TO DO WITH PEOPLE THAT WE WANT TO GET RID OF WITHOUT CAUSING SOME KIND OF A BLOW UP [DELETED]! (Maria: Well, it might be worth it if Liz would stay.) Well, as long as he had those little children, he would still have a hold on her, even if he lived a million miles away! [DELETED]
47. I HAVE AN IDEA THAT SHE'S ABOUT ALL THAT HOLDS HIM TOGETHER, that if he had to go off without her, he would just fall apart--in spite of Jill! Oh, Lord, give us wisdom what to do now that they're here. Please get us out of this mess!
48. HE'S A PRETTY HARD GUY TO KEEP FROM BEING AN ENEMY! You don't dare cross him about anything, he'll sense it.--Like the way he talks about the chewing gum: "I realise now I shouldn't have taken it," etc., & you can tell he still resents it. He still resents even the things he confesses & he still feels he is right.--Like one fellow told me, "I think you're wrong, but you're the boss!" I know that's what he thinks. He's so unspecific & so contradictory!--Almost like he wasn't too sure exactly what we wanted to hear, so he said them both!
49. I UNDERSTAND HE STILL HOLDS SOME GRUDGES AGAINST THE OLD CHAIN. People who are BITTER like that will be bitter against YOU, too. It's because they never blame themselves, they're always blaming other people. The self-righteous hypocrite never blames himself, it's always, "I thank Thee, O God, that I'm not as this man!"--Luk.18:11. Even if he's gotta confess he's wrong, he'll say, "OK, you say I'm wrong, so I guess I must be wrong. I still don't feel like I'm wrong, but I must be because you say so. You're the boss!" So Lord help us to figure out what to do with him!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
