HomeARC ML 1022
DESERTION!--By Father David DFO 1022 17/6/81
--"If any provide not for his own, he's worse than an infidel!"--1Ti.5:8
1. THAT REVELATION ABOUT FLIRTY FISHING WAS THE ULTIMATE TEST that really divided the sheep from the goats, both wives & husbands. If a man wants to go fuckin' around & having a child by a woman, then he's obligated to take her on as a wife, even if it's a second or third wife. And if he doesn't, I think we should let the Family know that he's in disfavour & disrepute & under condemnation as far as we're concerned, & we don't agree with it at all.
2. I WOULD LITERALLY & TECHNICALLY CALL IT DESERTION OF A WIFE & CHILD. He took the liberty of fucking that woman & he should be willing to take the responsibility of fathering his child & marrying her if it results in a child that they are sure is his. This might help cut down some of the unnecessary promiscuity by some men as well as some women resulting in fatherless children & mateless wives.
3. I HAVE SAID OFTEN BEFORE THAT IF WITHIN THE FAMILY GOD GIVES YOU A CHILD He must expect you to be its parent if the mother has no other mate & is single & unmated. This does not necessarily apply to Jesus babies of ungodly men outside the Family which would result in being unequally yoked with unbelievers, but it certainly should apply to men within the Family who are brothers who should learn to take responsibility for their actions & any woman by whom they have a child, unless she's already mated & thereby can already provide a father for that child.
4. IN THE CASE OF A MARRIED WOMAN WHO ALREADY HAS A HUSBAND &/OR FAMILY, I would say that that husband, if he has permitted her & been willing to let her FF, must also be willing to take care of the results, including a Jesus baby, & treating such children as his own & thus keep the family unit together & provide the children with proper parents & loving family care.
5. BUT I WOULD CONSIDER THAT A MAN WHO TAKES THE LIBERTY OF SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A SINGLE WOMAN which results in a child must be prepared to take the responsibility of its fatherhood & her as his mate or one of his mates if she so desires. And I would consider that any man who deserts his own child & the mother of his child whom he thereby has made his wife whether he likes it or not, is guilty of desertion & would thereby come under the Scriptural condemnation of "He that fails to care for his own is worse than an infidel"! (1Tim.5:8.)
6. WHICH ALSO PUTS HIM UNDER THE ANATHEMA OF THE HERETIC, an unbelieving rebel defying the Scriptures & the laws of God & therefore worthy of expulsion from the Family according to the Scripture. (Titus 3:10.) He's therefore subject to both expulsion from the Family & excommunication if he refuses to assume the responsibility for his child & its mother, "if she be pleased to dwell with him." (1Co.7:12.)
7. I'M FURIOUS WITH THESE PROMISCUOUS PROFLIGATES with absolutely no sense of responsibility & utterly flagrant in their violation of Family rules & their disobedience to both the Scriptures, God & me, and I want to hear of no more of it! I've expressed these same sentiments before & I'm now going to lower the boom on you & enforce the Law of Love & insist that you cannot desert your own child & its mother without incurring my wrath if "she be pleased to dwell with thee."
8. IF YOU PERSIST IN YOUR DEFIANT & FLAGRANT DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD & HIS WORD & ME after the first & second admonition--having been warned privately, then in the presence of witnesses & finally brought before the whole Home, the Home Council of the church as Jesus commanded (Mt.18:15-17)--you should then be cast out of the Home & the Family & excommunicated for your defiant violation of God's Law of Love!
9. I WANT TO HEAR NO MORE OF THESE IRRESPONSIBLE MEN WHO GO AROUND FUCKING SINGLE SISTERS & are unwilling to take the responsibility of the results, leaving her alone & unmated, an uncared-for mother with a pitiful orphaned fatherless child! We are just not going to have it in the Family any more, & that is all there is to it! That's the word with the bark on it, & it'll have the bite too if you don't obey!
10. WE ARE SICK & FED-UP WITH YOU HEARTLESS, IRRESPONSIBLE ADOLESCENT JUVENILES IN BEHAVIOUR who recklessly run around enjoying all the fun with our dear loving & merciful sisters without being willing to take the responsibility of the hard work of their care & children which result from your careless actions! We're just not going to have any more of it!
11. EITHER YOU TOE THE LINE & TAKE CARE OF THAT GIRL & HER CHILD IF SHE WANTS YOU TO, OR GET OUT! You're out of the Family, you're excommunicated & we consider you an heretic & worse than an infidel!--Just as God's Word states & Jesus Christ Himself commanded! And that's that! That I hope will be the end of that matter & we will never hear of such again! But if we do, that's going to be your fate!
12. WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE LIKE THAT IN THE FAMILY, they give us & the whole Family a bad name. They're offensive to God & they stink to the Family & we don't even want you around, when you know nothing about love nor its responsibility toward one with whom you have even made it even once sexually, which God has ordained to result in your child & thereby made her your mate & its father, a responsibility which you must not & you cannot escape if we or the Lord or the Family have anything to do with it!
13. YOU ARE BOUND TO THAT WOMAN & YOUR CHILD AS LONG AS SHE BE PLEASED TO DWELL WITH THEE. We don't want to hear of any more such flagrant desertions of one whom you have made your mate by giving her your child, & that is the end of that, we hope!--Or it'll be the end of you as far as we're concerned!
14. IN THE CASE OF A MARRIED WOMAN WHO ALREADY HAS A MATE who can be both mother & father to your child, I would consider it both her & his responsibility to care for that child as their own--be it a Jesus baby, yours or otherwise. It has a home & mother & a father & it is not necessarily your responsibility to care for it.
15. IF THE MOTHER WILLINGLY HAD SEX WITH YOU KNOWING THE POSSIBILITY OF ITS CONSEQUENCES with or without the knowledge or consent of her husband, under the old harsh hard strict unbendable & unbreakable Mosaic Law, in such a case of what it called fornication or adultery, the husband had a right to divorce his wife if it was without his knowledge or consent.
16. HOWEVER, UNDER CHRIST'S OWN LAW OF LOVE, HE CLEARLY INDICATED THAT IT WAS BETTER TO FORGIVE & to love & to certainly care for both her & the child as his own rather than cast them out, if she be pleased to continue to dwell with him. This applies to both Family babies & Jesus babies. A baby fathered by someone outside the Family we call a Jesus baby as a form of distinction from those both fathered & mothered within the Family, who of course are all His babies as well as yours & for whom you are responsible.
17. HOWEVER, MEN FF'D OUTSIDE THE FAMILY CANNOT BE COMPELLED TO BE LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CHILDREN by our girls unless they voluntarily choose to be so, as many of them have out of love & kindness & the goodness of their heart!--Which is more than I can say for some of our delinquent & irresponsible & disobedient brethren!
18. BUT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE NO MORE FATHERLESS ORPHANS & MATELESS MOTHERS MADE SO BY FAMILY MEMBERS! From now on, as indicated many times in many Letters before, when you go to bed with a mateless woman & give her a child you are hereafter her mate & the father of it & will be held responsible for them both if she so desires. This will be enforced according to God's Law of Love & loving parental responsibility, & you will be expelled & excommunicated if you persist in violating it & refuse to take the responsibility of both the woman & the child if she so desires.
19. IF SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU FOR A HUSBAND & departs with the child, then they are not your responsibility. But if she desires to remain with you & her child, then they're both your responsibility. If as in some rare cases she does not want to remain with you but wishes to leave the child with you, then the child continues to be your responsibility as its father, whether you are mated or not.
20. WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY MORE POOR LITTLE FATHERLESS NEGLECTED ORPHANS RUNNING AROUND IN OUR FAMILY! Every child needs both a mother & a father and should have both, & they are going to have both if I & the Lord have anything to do with it!--As both I & the Lord intended & His Word confirms. And that's that! So think that over, boys, before you go to bed next time with a single woman: If she becomes pregnant with & bears your child, you automatically become her mate & its father, if she so desires, & the Family will hold your responsible for them both, for their support, provision, protection & tender loving care.
21. IF YOU DESERT THEM & REFUSE TO ASSUME YOUR VALID RESPONSIBILITY AS THEIR MATE & FATHER, after the first & second admonition by members of the Family & finally before the whole Home or local council, you will then be cast out of the Family & totally excommunicated from any further fellowship or communication with us!
22. YOU WILL NOT BE RESTORED TO FELLOWSHIP NOR FORGIVEN FOR THIS DASTARDLY SIN UNTIL YOU GENUINELY REPENT & ask for forgiveness and promise to resume your mated & fatherly responsibility, if the woman is willing to take you back. Only then will you be restored to fellowship & good standing as a bona fide Family member & communicant in the Family community as a whole, & deserving as a faithful tither Family communications & publications.
23. SO THINK IT OVER, SON, BEFORE YOU GO TO BED WITH THE NEXT ONE no matter how much she wants it or how much you need it. We're now going to insist that you be held responsible for the results & enforce it, or you will be subject to punitive measures & cast out as an heretic & worse than an infidel. (1Tim.5:8.) That is God's Law of Love & it must be obeyed & enforced or you will be compelled to suffer the consequences.
24. SO CHOOSE YE THIS DAY WHOM YE WILL SERVE! If God be God, then obey Him. If Baal, the god of reckless lust be god, then serve him--but outside the Family & out of communication with both me & the Lord, so be it!
25. SO NOW GIRLS, YOU WHO ARE DESERTED, MATELESS MOTHERS WITH FATHERLESS CHILDREN borne by Family men but deserted & unsupported by them & uncared for against your wishes & you & your child unprovided for by them, file your complaints! No mater how old, we will deal with them accordingly & consider each case according to its merit, after having heard both sides. We will do the best that we can to judge righteously accordingly to enforce His Law of Love & insist that it be obeyed.
26. IN THESE VERY SERIOUS CASES OF DESERTED MATELESS WOMEN & ORPHANED FATHERLESS CHILDREN by careless, reckless, unfeeling, unloving & inconsiderate, casual sexmates, "Behold, I have heard the cry of the fatherless & the widows & the orphans & the mateless & the deserted & the poor" & they have entered too many times into my ears & our mail! I will have no more of it & we will judge accordingly & will from now on strictly enforce this law of God's love concerning them.
27. SO BEWARE, YOU WHO LIVE CARELESSLY & CASUALLY SEXUALLY but are unwilling to take care of the results & your legitimate responsibilities according to God's Law of Love! I hope that settles it once & for all, & I don't want to hear of any future cases once we have settled the past ones! So now's your chance, girls, to come to court & seek help in your time of need. We will do the best we can to help you to judge the guilty--just be sure you're right & you know it & you're not just trying to trap him when you know it's not his!
28. AND BOYS, YOU'D BETTER GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT WITH HER, QUICK! If you're at fault, repent & get back together if she so desires & take care of your family, or we or God are going to catch up with you sooner or later & you're going to suffer the just recompense of your reward, whatever that may be! GHU! Let's have no more of this careless, unloving, purely lustful, wicked, sinful, irresponsible, flagrant, profligate, promiscuous sex that is unwilling to lovingly take care of the results!
29. SUCH SEX IS NOT LOVE, BUT PURE WICKED, SINFUL, INIQUITOUS, SELFISH LUST with no regard for the consequences & no feeling of responsibility for the results & broken hearts, bodies & fatherless children left behind! Beloved, these things ought not so to be in our Family & they are not going to be this way any more if we have anything to do with it & can possibly rectify it!
30. SO BEWARE! WE'RE ON YOUR TRAIL & "BE SURE YOUR SINS WILL FIND YOU OUT!" "For whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap!" (Gal.6:7.) "He that covereth his sin shall not prosper, & he that being often reproved & yet hardeneth his neck shall be suddenly destroyed & that without remedy!" (Pr.28:13; 29:1.)
31. SO TRESPASSERS, BEWARE! Don't trespass against her unless you're willing to become her mate & the father of your child that she bears you, if she so desires. Either we or the Lord are going to catch up with you sooner or later & you're going to be sorry if you don't repent & confess & make things right. If you settle it with her to her satisfaction, then you don't have to bring it to us.--But!:
32. DEAR LITTLE UNMATED MOTHER, if he refuses to do what's right & to care for you & your child, if you so desire, as the Scripture admonishes: Take it to him first personally & privately, but if he will not listen then bring it before him with two or three witnesses. If he still refuses, take it before the church, that is the Home or District Council & let him be judged accordingly.
33. IF HE CONTINUES TO REJECT YOU & HIS CHILD AS HIS RESPONSIBILITY, if he still refuses to repent, then let him be cast out of the Home & the Family & all fellowship therewith & communication therewith, as an heretic & worse than an infidel!--As one who refuses to care for his own, an abomination in the sight of God & the Family & no more worthy to be called one of us.
34. WE HAVE WARNED YOU MANY TIMES OF THESE THINGS IN PAST LETTERS (Nos. 302C, 314B, 332C, 359), but some of you have continued to flagrantly & defiantly or at least carelessly disobey & defy these Letters, God's Word & His Law of Love. We cannot permit this or these flagrant violations to continue any longer with their sad, pitiful & heartbreaking results of deserted women & fatherless children needing help & support.
35. WE ARE GOING TO NO LONGER ASK YOU KINDLY & ADVISE YOU LOVINGLY, BUT STRICTLY REQUIRE YOU to faithfully care for these your personal responsibilities or we're going to punish you with expulsion & excommunication if you continue to refuse to obey God's Law of Love in this regard. So trespassers beware or you're going to suffer the enforcement of this law which can be stricter than the law of Moses in such a case as yours!
36. GOD WILL NOT TOLERATE IT & NEITHER WILL WE, He hates it & so do we! He says He abhors those who put away their wives, except for the cause of fornication or adultery as under the old Mosaic Laws, but now under His law of Love He even expects you to forgive that. (Mt. 19:8, 9.) "Judge not that ye be not judged, for with what measure ye mete it out it shall be meted unto you again." (Mt. 7:1, 2.) Even if your wife is guilty, you'd better forgive her if you want to be forgiven for your sins. For if you self-righteously & hypocritically judge her harshly, God will judge you the same, but justly. "For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall be also reap." (Gal 6:7.)
37. YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR HARDNESS OF HEART & YOUR CRITICAL UNFORGIVING SPIRIT the same way you judge others, particularly your would-be mate, or should-be mate, & God will desert you the way you've deserted yours. May God bring you to repentance, forgiveness, restoration & restitution before it's too late, in Jesus' name!
38. P.S. GIRLS, YOU'D BETTER BE SURE YOU'RE RIGHT before you go ahead & accuse someone else falsely when you can't prove it, or you'll be just as guilty as they & deserve whatever you got or will get. So watch out! Don't lie about it & bring false accusations & bear false witness against thy brother if it's not so & you know it.
39. IF YOU'RE NOT SURE & YOU DON'T KNOW & CAN'T PROVE IT'S HIS, then you've no right to blame him for it & for deserting you when you were sleeping with others too & you're not sure it's his, unless he's willing to acknowledge it. In which case it would be up to him as to whether he wants to have compassion on you & help you whether he's sure he's the father or not.--Which would certainly be the compassionate & loving thing to do if he loves you & is willing to. I believe the Lord would certainly commend him for it, particularly if he's already single & has no other responsibilities.
40. AS LONG AS THERE IS A POSSIBILITY & as long as he knows there is a possibility that he could be the father, then he should definitely consider his responsibility of its fatherhood & the responsibility to be your mate & the provider & protector of your Home. I would say that as long as he was with you sexually at a time consistent with your pregnancy & the birth of your baby, being such that it was definitely possible that he's the father, then he should consider it his responsibility to be the father since he may be. I would consider that responsibility to hold & bind unless he's proven otherwise.
41. IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH THAT SINGLE WOMAN AT SUCH A TIME AS YOU COULD DEFINITELY BE THE FATHER OF HER CHILD, my opinion is that you could be considered guilty until proven innocent, because you very likely are. So I would consider that you should definitely consider it your responsibility to father that child & mate with that woman. You took that chance when you went to bed with her & there's that distinct possibility that you are the father, therefore you should undertake to assume that responsibility if no one else is willing to.
42. THAT IS TRUE LOVE & GENUINE CONCERN FOR THE WELFARE OF OTHERS whether yours or not. If they are in our Family they are yours & every child is ours & some father should take care of it. And every mother is our sister & our widow & someone should mate her in love & consideration for the mateless & fatherless. However, in such cases of question, perhaps the possible fathers should discuss it & pray about it & agree together who is most likely the father & thus able to care for the new little family.
43.--PARTICULARLY SINGLE BRETHREN WHO HAVE NO OTHER RESPONSIBILITY & need to learn to unselfishly care for others, particularly the guilty one rather than husbands already loaded with a mate or mates & other children.--Unless such an husband voluntarily wishes to undertake the responsibility of the new family of the unmated mother & fatherless child or children.
44. SURELY YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SETTLE THESE MATTERS AMONGST YOURSELVES WITH COUNSEL & LOVE & AGREEMENT in the Home &/or with the help of the elders or Shepherds & Councils of the area. Please, let's have no more pitiful fatherless children & mateless women. Surely somebody should be willing to take care of them in love, even if you don't have to. God's Law of Love requires that, & He will reward you accordingly. Thanks. GBY for your love.
45. AND AS FOR YOU POOR LITTLE MATELESS MOTHERS, now you know I love you & the Lord has not forgotten you & He will send someone to help you if you pray earnestly for His mercy. You too took that chance when you went to bed with him & you must now pray only for God's mercy & His love that you may win the love of a mate & a father for your child or children. May God help you to do so, in Jesus' name. Amen. (P.S.--But if you left him, Sister, that's tough!--It may be too late now to patch it up!--D.)
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
