HomeARC ML 1739
WHAT'S WRONG WITH KEDA? DO 1739 3/84
1. WHEN KEDA SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY CAME UP TO ME & SAID, "WE'RE ALL HOPING FOR A TALK!" SHE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE! In other words, "You're not doing the right thing, you ought to be doing something else!" In other words, "You should be led of the Lord & be more spiritual & preach!" That was really an insult! Why, even dear Alf who is not always sensitive sometimes, was really shocked by it & he took her out in the kitchen & bawled her out! Even he sensed that she had done something wrong. God bless him for the nerve & spunk to speak up to her!
2. IN THE FIRST PLACE, SHE LIED WHEN SHE SAID, "WE'RE ALL HOPING FOR ANOTHER TALK!" She implied there were a LOT of people who were dissatisfied with the dinner dances & would prefer me to talk, & that she was their spokesman. It really created division! It turned out she was the only one! Now why was she a spokesman of such division, of which she was apparently the only member? Look at a little childlike Alf, not even supposed to be a great spiritual leader at all, yet he was horrified & shocked by what she said! He was so in tune in the Spirit to realise she was saying something bad & very out of order! How could she have been so out of it & so out of tune, when even Alf sensed she was out of it. What was the matter with her? Why did she say that? I want her to analyse it herself why she did it.--Be honest with herself to analyse what's wrong with her & why she would have said such a thing!
3. I THINK SOME KIND OF SPIRITUAL PRIDE IS BEHIND IT ALL, A KIND OF HOLIER-THAN-THOU, SELF-RIGHTEOUS ATTITUDE. The dancing wasn't good enough for her & she had to have something more spiritual, therefore she was more spiritual than anybody else. It may have satisfied the rest of them, but not her! But she pretended to be the spokesman for more than one. "We're all hoping for another talk!" What a lie! That was an outright lie! She was the only one, she was only speaking for herself! Why would she do that? Why would she say it? Why would she pretend to be the spokesman for a division? "We're all hoping for another talk!"--Whereas there was no "we" & no "all," it was just her! So she was only speaking for herself, so why did she pretend to be speaking for more than herself, & why, therefore, did she say it at all?
4. IT'S SOME KIND OF PRIDE, LIKE SHE WAS A LITTLE BETTER THAN ALL THE REST! She'd rather have something more. She wasn't satisfied with what we were dishing out & serving the rest. She wanted something more spiritual, therefore she was more spiritual than the rest. I think it was self-righteous pride myself, that she was trying to impress me with her spirituality. And I think it was outright hypocritical, because she was enjoying the dancing just as much if not more than anybody else! Maybe she was a little ashamed that she was enjoying it so much & she thought she ought to be more spiritual, & so she wanted to let me know that she was more spiritual than that.--Just like the hypocritical self-righteous Pharisees of the churches, they want to let everybody know how righteous they are. "Thank God I'm not as this man! I'm holier than thou!" (Luk.18:9-14) Well, let's see how holy she is. Let her give me a good righteous reason for her remark, "We're all hoping for a talk!" When it wasn't even true!
5. I TELL YOU, I'M JUST FURIOUS ABOUT IT & I'M NOT OVER IT YET, I'M JUST INFURIATED! I THOUGHT WE LEFT THAT KIND OF PEOPLE BEHIND IN THE CHURCHES! (Maria: Well, I'll tell you, those evangelists like Keda & even dear Faithy, who thank God has gotten the victory, have a big problem sometimes with some of that spiritual pride. They've been on their own so long just receiving acclaim & worship of people constantly, & nothing on the other side, the negative, no rebuke or correction. It's really a temptation, they really get that way. Faithy confessed herself how much she was that way.) Keda hasn't confessed yet. All she did was say she was sorry that she said it. Saul was sorry he got caught, but he didn't really confess his sin, the evil root beneath the outer show.
6. I WANT HER TO ANALYSE HERSELF & SEE IF SHE CAN FIGURE OUT WHY SHE SAID IT, WHEN IT WAS A LIE in the first place & not even true in the second! I think she was trying to impress me with her holiness, that she wasn't as carnal as she appeared to be. I think she was perhaps ashamed of how much she was enjoying it, trying to reassure me that she was more spiritual than that, that she was acting as a spokesman of a group who were all hoping for another talk, which was an outright lie! She'd better analyse why she said it, because it's a serious root problem! "Out of the fulness of the heart the mouth speaketh!" (Luk.6:45)
7. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG SOMEWHERE, SO SHE NEEDS TO CHECK HERSELF OUT & SEE WHAT HER PROBLEM IS, & why she would have told such a boldfaced lie, & why she would have come up to me personally, the last thing after a very happy fellowship session with the Family, & planted the evil seeds of that lie, which has just rankled ever since! She hasn't got this thing straightened out with me yet until she sees her sin & fully confesses it! She'd better straighten out her own heart, or she's not worthy of being a leader!--And I certainly don't want her here to be a spokesman for the Devil!
8. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER THAT REALLY GETS ME & ALWAYS HAS, YOU KNOW THAT! WHAT IS IT? What is it that I almost abhor? I mean I hate to sit at the same table with her! What is it? Is there something wrong with her? Has she got some kind of evil spirit or something? I mean, she's been fine at a distance as long as I didn't have to be around her, but I just can hardly stand to be in the same house with her! There's just something in me that just rises up in resentment, something almost furious with the anger of God!
9. SO WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? WHY DO I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE ABHORRENCE FOR HER, THAT SHE JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY? It's almost like she has an evil spirit, & that remark sure brought it out, whatever it is--self-righteous, hypocritical pride or whatever it is, spiritual pride, when she's the last one in the World that ought to have any spiritual pride! (Maria: Well, I guess it isn't hard to have when you go around, month after month, & everybody bows down & practically worships you.)--Year after year, for the last ten years!
10. WHEN I SEE HER I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I WANT TO HIT HER, NOW WHY IS THAT? It's like she's putting on a big pretence, pretending to be something she's not. Well, it's funny but I just don't even want to sit at the same table with her until she gets straightened out. And the Scripture that came to me was the Scripture, something about sitting down & eating with people like that. We'll have to look it up. The Lord says something about them being "spots at your feasts"! Such people are "spots at your feasts." There's some Scripture about it. (Jude 12) I look around that table & I see sweet & loyal, wholehearted 100%ers & a few little innocent little childlike babes, but pure & doing their best. But there's something about her that just really offends me!
11. I CAN'T QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON IT, BUT IT'S SORT OF LIKE PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING SHE'S NOT! I mean, even little childlike Alf knew she was wrong., that she had said the wrong thing. What was the matter with her, a great spiritual leader of the East, that she didn't know she was wrong in saying it? I think we really struck a real serious problem & root of some of her personal problems, & it's pretty serious if she doesn't get it worked out somehow!
12. I MEAN, IT'S A TERRIBLE FEELING, BUT I FELT LIKE HITTING HER WHEN SHE SAID THAT! I actually felt like hitting her, like slapping her across the mouth, like she was voicing the self-righteous, hypocritical pride of the Devil! What is it? Is it me or her or what! I mean, she just makes me so angry I want to strike her! What's wrong with her or me! Is it me?--Something wrong with me? (Maria: I don't think anything's wrong with you.) Well, there's probably plenty wrong with me, but at least I know it & I confess it & I admit it even publicly. My God! There's nothing I hate like people that try to hide & cover up their wickedness & their evil hearts! At least I confess how carnal I am & how human I am & how unsaintly I am!
13. OH, THAT'S SO PENTECOSTAL TO PRETEND TO BE SO HOLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THEIR RIGHTEOUSNESS IS FULL OF HOLES, IN THAT WAY THEY'RE HOLY! But they try to cover up the holes. They'd actually be a lot more holy if they'd show the holes & confess they're there. They're absolutely despicable & nothing & icky without the Lord! I'm just sick of her! I'm sorry, I just cannot stand to have her around! I can't stand to sit at the same table with her! I've got to look up that Scripture, something about "they're spots at your feasts." You're not even supposed to eat with them!
14. OK HONEY, IT'S 4 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, LET'S GO TO SLEEP! I'm not even going to go down there & eat anymore at the same table with her. It's either she or me. Either she gets straightened out & confesses her sin, or I don't even want to see her face & that blank vacant stare! It certainly doesn't inspire me! It reminds me of those owlish birds I saw in that dream!--Those evil bird faces over that town where they were playing that game that they were in control of, about the money that was diminishing.--About the snow toboggan & going South & the elevator that I jumped off & the magic wand & all that. ("The Crash," No.284.) Her face looks like those birds that were hovering over that town, sort of a blank, ominous, almost evil stare!
15. SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER? I THOUGHT MAYBE SHE WAS JUST TIRED, BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS THAT LOOK, ALMOST LIKE THE LOOK OF A TORTURED SOUL! But she's sort of trying to cover it up with that blank vacant stare. I mean, it's almost like the stare of a dead person! It's horrible! I hate to look at her at the dinner table! She'd better get herself straightened out or I don't want to look at her anymore! She's enough to drive a person to drink! I don't care to sit at the same table with her until she gets straightened out.
16. SOMETHING ABOUT HER IN THE SPIRIT SOMEHOW HAS ALWAYS DISGUSTED ME, & I JUST COULDN'T STAND TO BE IN HER PRESENCE OR HAVE HER IN MINE! I'm afraid I'm about as hypocritical as she is, because with all that charity that I tried to treat her with, that's pretty much of a farce! I can just hardly stand her! I didn't really want to have her here, but you guys insisted that she needed it & I guess she does! (Maria: Yes, if she's going around being our personal representative for all the Family & half the World, I guess she must need something now!) She'd certainly better get straightened out, whatever it is, or I can't stand to have her represent me, that's for sure!
17. THERE'S SOMETHING VERY SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HER, & SHE'D BETTER FIND OUT WHAT IT IS OR RECOGNISE & ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT IT IS! Maybe she needs a laying on of hands to cast it out! (Maria: What would you cast out? Would you say the spirit of pride, is that good enough?) That's bad enough! There's nothing worse than that, especially spiritual pride. (Maria: Should we just call it that?--Just cast out the Spirit of Pride?) Yes, with hypocrisy & self-righteousness! She's the last person in the World who should have any spiritual pride or hypocritical self-righteousness!
(End)
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
