HomeARC ML 3211
Living the Lord's Law of Love!--Pt.11 Maria #457 CM 3211 3/98
--Living the "One Wife" vision--what it means and how to do it
By Maria
Required Reading. For Charter Members 16 and over.
Note: All references to sexual sharing throughout this series are only to be applied according to the guidelines in the Charter.
Table of Contents:
A major move of the Spirit toward unity! 3
Building on Dad's Words! 5
Misunderstandings concerning the "One Wife" vision 6
What it means to put the greater Family first! 6
More on putting the "One Wife" vision into practice 12
Marriage is[DELETED] 13
Do all you can, and God will do the rest! 14
Dear precious Family,
1. I love you so and very much appreciate your diligent, full-of-faith study of this series. In this GN we're going to talk more about living the "One Wife" vision. That's something that's been a little difficult to understand over the years, but the Lord and Dad have recently given us some very good explanations and practical advice that I think will make a world of difference in our being able to live this important spiritual principle.
2. The Lord has mentioned the term "living the One Wife vision" several times in recent prophecies. In "Goals for 1998" He talked about living the Law of Love and the "One Wife" vision as though they were very closely related or even synonymous. I will include these portions of prophecy here for you to review, as they're very important. The Lord said:
3. It is through living the Law of Love fully that the living of the "One Wife" vision is possible. Without strong belief in the Law of Love and understanding of it, how can you believe and understand the "One Wife" vision, the truth of your greater marriage? Therefore much reassurance, instruction, encouragement, and a strong challenge needs to go out to both generations to once again kindle in their hearts and minds faith in the Law of Love and a desire to live the "One Wife" vision.
4. So much of what hinders the unity of the Family today is because of a lack of living the Law of Love and the "One Wife" vision fully. If there were greater love, concern, and faith in these areas, then there would also be greater care for the single mothers and their children, greater sexual freedom, less ostracizing of some, and fewer cliques. There would be a much greater willingness to love without partiality, to help each person to feel a part of the Family, the Home, the love, the unity, the oneness. (End of excerpts of message from Jesus.) (ML #3160:171,172, GN 765).
5. {\b \i (Mama:)} You might also recall that in Part 7 of this series the Lord again mentioned the importance of living the "One Wife" vision, when He said that even parenting teamworks will not supply all the needs of you who have children. Take the needs of our single mothers, for one example. He said:
6. {\b \i (Jesus speaking:) }The greatest, most long-lasting and deepest solution to the single mothers' needs is the pure and total enactment of the "One Wife" vision. Even parenting teamworks, as good as they are, have their drawbacks and their weaknesses. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.) (ML #3207:145).
7. {\b \i (Mama:)} Parenting teamworks are helpful and definitely have their place. The Lord is certainly promoting them and they will bear good fruit, but He also said:
8. {\b \i (Jesus speaking:)} The ultimate goal, the complete vision, and the deeper, longer-lasting and more fruitful solution is living the "One Wife" vision, which is where each Home is a giant parenting teamwork where all bear the needs and feel responsible for their brethren--be they married couples, singles, single mothers, young people or children. Living the "One Wife" vision is the ultimate answer!
9. I will not be satisfied until the Family reaches that goal, until they have grown to understand, accept and take responsibility for their greater marriage in its totality. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)
10. {\b \i (Mama:)} As the Lord led Peter and me step by step in the preparation of this series, I began to wonder if there was too much emphasis being placed on the individual family and the responsibility of the mother and father to their child or children, to the point that it would minimize the principle that we are all married to each other in spirit, and ideally we're to look at each person as our mate and at their children as our children. That's the principle of "One Wife."
11. I was concerned that as people learn to take responsibility for the children they bear together that there would possibly be a move toward too much concentration on little private nuclear families, which would in some way inhibit the overall unity that the Lord is trying to bring to pass in the Body as a whole. When praying about it, the Lord explained further where He is leading.
12. {\b \i (Jesus speaking:)} As you launch out to live the Law of Love, this is preparation. It's the pathway that leads to fulfilling the "One Wife" vision. And as you grow to live the Law of Love, this goes hand in hand with fulfilling the "One Wife" vision; they are one and the same. Living the "One Wife" vision is the golden solution, because to put the responsibility on husbands and wives, daddies and mommies, and the ones who are actually responsible for creating the children in the flesh, will never be enough.
13. I have put within the heart of My children a need to reach out and to receive input from many sources and many people. I want all of My children--young and old, from both generations, adult and child--to have a wide circle of family, friends, companions, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters. My way is not the way of the world, to build and secure only independent nuclear families, for that strength is limited. That bond is very weak in comparison with the bond that can be formed as My Family learns to live the "One Wife" vision where they become part of a greater marriage in spirit, where they look upon each other as their mate and the others' children as their own.
14. The responsibilities and cautions and explanations must be pointed out clearly, and My children must understand that if they create a child together, then I hold them responsible, for it is their child and in most cases they are destined and chosen to be the parents of that child and to give that child the input, education, spiritual foundation and training that he needs and deserves. When they choose to fuck they take upon themselves that responsibility, but it is not a responsibility that I expect the mother and father to bear entirely on their own. I don't want the parents to shirk the responsibility, but I also want the others of their greater marriage in spirit to help to bear the responsibility. For as you bear one another's burdens, so do you fulfill My Law of Love.
15. Yes, individual nuclear families of dedicated, committed, loving married couples and their children are a good testimony and they are a strength to the Family, but the greater testimony and the greater strength comes from the greater marriage. Living the "One Wife" vision is the ultimate goal and that is what I am moving My Family toward.
16. All the clarifications and explanations, boundaries and guidelines that are put forth in this Law of Love series are building the foundation and making it possible for the Family to move from the point that they're now at to a point of much greater unity, where they truly realize the "One Wife" vision and truly become married to one another in spirit. The "One Wife" vision is a very integral key part of the plan, an important piece of the puzzle. To live the Law of Love in every aspect cannot be done without the vision and determination to live the "One Wife" vision. They are one and the same. (End of message from Jesus.)
17. {\b \i (Mama:)} The Lord is always way out front, and His plan is flawless, beautiful and supported by His many promises! It is so encouraging to me to see how He has led us step by step to this point, to where He can now finally reveal His ultimate plan. Praise the Lord! As you read the following paragraphs, you'll see that there is a great move of the Spirit to strengthen our greater marriage in spirit, which will affect every single one of our lives.
A Major Move of the Spirit Toward Unity!
18. {\b \i (Jesus speaking:)} At this time I am engineering a major move toward unity. My Spirit is sweeping through the ranks and pulling all the children of David of all ages into a greater circle of unity, fellowship and closeness of heart, mind, and spirit. Living the sexual sharing aspect of the Law of Love is one part of this unity that I seek. But the unity overall--the unity between the younger ones and the older ones, between those of the same generation, between the older children and the younger children, between those who are single and those who are married, between those who are childless and those who have children, is all part of the great plan that I am putting into effect.
19. To live the Law of Love sexually is not the only side and the only message, and that is not the only goal that I am pursuing. For I lead My Family to live the Law of Love fully, to live all aspects of My Law of Love. My ultimate goal, the final end result that I am seeking, is the total unity of My Bride, the complete oneness of the children of David, both among and between the generations, and regardless of their ministry, their gender, their nationality, their personal situation or their marital status. I am seeking total unity, the ultimate fulfillment of the "One Wife" vision given by your Father David.
20. Living the Law of Love is what needs to be done. It is a great and magnificent solution, a mighty move of My Spirit! It is put forth through powerful Words of truth and revelation. It is the fruit of the conviction, desperation and yieldedness of the king and queen, and it will bring forth great fruit. But this in itself is not the only message. It is not the only goal, or the ultimate goal. As I said before, the ultimate fulfillment of My plan is the perfection and completion of the "One Wife" vision.
21. Living the Law of Love is not something on its own, separate from the fulfillment of the "One Wife" vision; it is part of it. It goes hand in hand, for you cannot have one without the other. As My Family lives the Law of Love fully, in every aspect, the totality of My Bride will come at last. They will become My total Bride, My One Wife, prepared and adorned to meet her Bridegroom. (End of message from Jesus.)
22. {\b \i (Mama:) }The ultimate goal the Lord is seeking isn't just the sexual sharing; that's just part of the picture. The overall goal, the "big picture," is the uniting of the whole Family in our greater marriage in spirit, which would involve not only the sexual sharing, but also the other aspects of living the Law of Love and the "One Wife" vision.
23. The Lord gave quite a list of areas where He hopes to see greater unity. I think He hit on each person and every possible scenario when He said He wanted more unity between the two generations, between those of the same generation, between nationalities, between the older children and the younger children, between those who are single and those who are married, between those who are childless and those who have children, and between every age, ministry and gender. That pretty much includes us all!
24. It's time to broaden our vision and our perspective. Now the Lord wants us to see that living the Law of Love in its entirety, while it is very important and a major move of the Spirit and very needed, is only part of what He's doing. It leads to and is part of His ultimate goal, the marriage in spirit of all the children of David!
25. Since the Lord led Dad to write the Letter "One Wife" back in 1972, we have slowly but surely been learning what it means to put the Lord first and to be married to each other in the Spirit. We have matured and grown with time, and the Lord knows we are miles ahead of the churches when it comes to putting the Lord and His work first above the selfish interests of our personal families. This does not mean, however, that we no longer love our husbands, wives or children, or that we are to neglect them and not show them the love and attention that is their due and that they need. That too is part of our responsibility in living the Law of Love.
26. But daily we are faced with choices as to whether we will put the Lord and His work first, or whether we will instead opt to follow our own personal plans and programs. Of course, our personal families and their care is a very integral part of our work for the Lord, as His gifts are His work. Yet through these daily choices, the Lord is leading us and teaching us how to have a good balance between the attention that our personal families and mates need, and the attention that He expects us to give to Him and other aspects of His work.
27. Even though we have practiced living the "One Wife" vision to some degree through the years and we have grown in this way, the Lord still longs to see greater unity in the Family. This is the ultimate goal of not only living the Law of Love, but also the greater marriage in spirit of the children of David. He wants us all to have a greater realization of the "One Wife" vision in our lives and Homes. He wants it to become more of a reality in practical terms.
28. When it comes to parents and children, naturally this is not to say that the parents are no longer responsible for their own children and have little say in the care of their children, or are to forfeit a close loving personal relationship, but that everyone should be helping each other and cooperating together for the good of all. His desire is greater unity, greater oneness, greater closeness of heart, mind and spirit, regardless of our age, our marital status, whether we're male or female, whether we're nationals or foreigners, or whether we're leaders or not.
29. The Lord knows the needs. He knows the future. He knows the direction we need to go if we hope to be prepared for the battles we will face in the days to come. He sees the Enemy's attacks, and He's giving us the solutions that we need and that will strengthen us and cleanse us and make us into the strong fighting army that we need to be.
30. So to sum it up and make it very clear: Living the Law of Love in its entirety, including sexual sharing, is a tremendous move of the Spirit to bring about His plan. The ultimate goal that the Lord is striving for is greater overall unity, the marriage of the children of David in spirit. That is something that each and every person can embrace wholeheartedly and reap the benefits of, as we all move forward, step by step, toward greater unity and a greater living of the "One Wife" vision that the Lord gave Dad many years ago.
Building on Dad's Words!
31. As the Lord did with the "Loving Jesus" revelation, He is again giving us a deeper insight into the truth that He had revealed to Dad. With the messages contained in this GN about our greater marriage in spirit, Peter and I are building on the teachings of Dad. In the Letter "One Wife," Dad said:
32. We are not forsaking the marital unit.--We are adopting a greater and more important and far larger concept of marriage: The totality of the Bride and her marriage to the Bridegroom is The Family! We are adopting the larger Family as The Family unit: the Family of God and His Bride and children!
33. Through the experiences we are going through, God is trying to show us He will not fit in second place! He will not have any other gods before Him! If He allows you any nice cozy little private relationship, you can be very thankful for it! It is, in a sense, a privilege, a special little dispensation of grace to feel that only two of you belong to each other in particular. But He will only allow that provided you make it very clear to each other and the Lord and the others in the Revolution that you belong to God most of all, and your private relationship doesn't interfere with your work and your relationship with the Lord!
34. If you are allowed any personal private relationship with any particular individual, called marriage, it can only be tolerated provided it does not interfere with your marriage to God and your relationship with the rest of God's Wife--the Body, His total Bride! They say that the Bible doesn't teach plural marriage, but one of the greatest examples of all is the marriage of God Himself to His plural Bride composed of many members, all of whom are nevertheless one Bride! (ML #249:3,15,16).
35. {\b \i (Mama:)} 'I admit that the Letter "One Wife" is not easy to understand. It's a little mysterious! It's strong meat! The spiritual principles put forth in it are radical and may seem to some to be extreme. You may wonder, "What exactly is the 'One Wife' vision?"
36. For years now we in the Family have tried our best to find a good balance between private relationships and our devotion to the Lord and His work, and in some ways we have done well. But now, because of the need and because the days we live in are darker, and because we must be more militant and stronger and better prepared for the battles that we will face, the Lord is taking us a step further and is revealing more truth concerning how to live the principles of "One Wife." The Lord said in prophecy:
37.' {\b \i (Jesus speaking:) }In the days that your Father David gave the message of "One Wife," things were different in the Family. Life was much simpler. The first generation was young, carefree by comparison. Many of you had small children, but the demands on you were less, and your life was centered almost completely around witnessing. There were fewer battles with lack of unity, less severe attacks of the Enemy in that arena. But now there are two generations, and there are more differences in opinions, goals, outlooks. Now you are accountable for so much more Word, more truth. Now you need a clearer guidepost regarding the "One Wife" vision. Now I must expand upon that message and show you how to more effectively put it into practice according to the circumstances in which you now find yourselves.
38. You cannot go on business as usual, nor can you go on only with the truth that was given through the mouth of your Father David. I have seen the need, and I have seen fit to elaborate, to enhance and to view with a magnifying glass that truth with greater detail and greater instruction as to how to implement it.
39. This is another case where the children of David are constantly changing and revoluting! You cannot solidify and operate according to yesterday's plan and program, but you must be willing to be fluid, to flow with the Spirit, to become new creatures, to remain new bottles, to drink in the message for today. (End of message from Jesus.)
40. {\b \i (Mama:) }Clearly, the Word the Lord has given on living the Law of Love is one way in which He's expanding the message of "One Wife." But He has given other messages as well that will help us to relate to all of our "mates" in the Lord. I'll share those messages with you in the pages that follow.
Misunderstandings Concerning the "One Wife" Vision
41. One dilemma we encounter when trying to understand how to live the "One Wife" vision is that the main point we seem to remember from that Letter is that "God will not take second place to a private marriage relationship." Your automatic deduction is that God and your marriage to Him and your relationship with the Body must be in first place, therefore your personal family, your children and personal relationships must be in second place. But when you start to think about that and what to actually do about it, you can't help but wonder, "What does that mean in practical terms?"
42. Here's another part of the problem we face when trying to grasp the "One Wife" vision: I think we'd all have to honestly admit that our feelings for our mates and children and those we have close personal relationships with are stronger than our feelings for almost everyone else in our greater marriage. It's natural that you feel closer and more connected to your husband or wife, or your steady boyfriend or girlfriend, than you do to those Family members who are co-workers, sharing partners, distant friends, or even casual acquaintances. It's to be expected that you would naturally have a stronger personal love and concern for your own flesh children or the children of your "blended family"* than you do for someone else's children. *(A family in which either the husband or the wife, or both, bring children with them to the marriage.)
43. Those strong natural feelings for those you are closest to are not wrong. In fact, we know the Lord is the One Who gives us those feelings. So how do we justify these feelings, which seem like partiality, with the principle of "One Wife" that tells us that our private relationships should not interfere with our marriage to God and our relationship with the rest of the body?
44. Another point comes into play when you consider that the Lord has put you together with your mate and you believe it's God's will. He's given you your children. But then you feel like He's telling you that you should put that personal family and your children in a lesser place, and your relationship or marriage to Him and the overall Family first. So that's a little difficult to understand. Then to make matters even more complicated, your personal family, your children and your close friends or lovers, are all part of the greater Family, part of your greater marriage.
45. When thinking about these questions--how we're supposed to put our greater marriage first and how we should handle our stronger natural feelings for our private smaller families or close relationships--it became clear that we needed more specifics from the Lord.
46. You might worry that eventually, at this rate, there will be no more private marriages. (That's not the case!) With all this talk about living the "One Wife" vision and the unity that the Lord is looking for in the greater marriage, it might be a little scary to you if you don't know exactly what it means, where it's headed, or how to put it into practice. We don't want you to go too far in ministering to your greater marriage to the neglect of your personal family. Nor do we want you to feel like you're not doing enough for your greater marriage, so that you suffer the accusations and condemnation of the Enemy.
47. Clearly, we needed the Lord's help to grasp this concept better. When I asked the Lord to help us understand these points, Dad spoke, giving a much more in-depth talk on what living the "One Wife" vision means. I think this talk from Dad will help shed a brighter light on the spiritual principles of "One Wife" that have been a cornerstone of our Family for so long.
48. It's just wonderful how the Lord is revealing more to us, pulling back the veil on His Word again and again! Praise the Lord!
What It Means to Put the Greater Family First!
49. {\b \i (Dad speaking:)} Putting the greater marriage first doesn't mean you need to minimize your ties to your personal family, but it means giving the greater marriage the proper importance. It does not mean you must forsake the marital unit, but you are to embrace the far greater concept of marriage. It means that instead of drawing a circle around your own little family that will shut others out, you are to draw a circle that brings others in. For example, it doesn't mean loving your own children less, but it means taking the children of others into your arms, your heart, your lives, and trying to love them as much as you love your own. It means bringing others up to the level of your personal marriage relationship and your personal individual family--bringing them up to the level of love, understanding, sympathy, concern, and all the things you naturally feel for your personal family.
50. This is a complicated concept, because the Lord wants us to love others as we love ourselves. He wants us to be considerate of their needs, to give of our time, strength, love, and prayer, to do what we can to make sure all our mates are well cared for, happy and complete, as much as possible. On the other hand, He purposely, distinctly, and within His will gives you greater natural feelings for your personal family, for your one wife or mate, and also for your own children. He does that because He knows we all need some personal touch in our lives. Children need personal attention and personal love, to feel like they belong to somebody, that they have a place. They need to feel the security, comfort and warmth of the family unit.
51. So there's a place for both--the personal, individual family and the greater family. Each has its purpose, and you can love one without neglecting the other.
52. I would say the tendency of most people, of course, is to have a deeper love for their personal family, their immediate mate and their own children. Our priorities usually center around our own mates and our own children--not only because of our natural selfishness and independence, but also because of God-given desires and burdens that He's put in our hearts to care for and protect our individual family units.
53. It's very natural and understandable to be more concerned about your own mate and your own children--that they have their needs supplied, that they are happy, that they feel loved and content and challenged. It's good to love your mate and children in this way, and it's part of your duty as a husband or wife or father or mother.
54. People of the world are also concerned for their immediate family. But it takes the supernatural love of Jesus, the miraculous grace of God, to try to love others as much as you love your personal family, and to care as much about their personal needs and their feelings of happiness, security, contentment and challenge.
55. It takes the supernatural love of the Lord to care as much for a single mother and the needs of her children as you do for your own wife and your own children. It takes a supernatural vision in the spirit to see that single mother and her children as being your wife and your children in the spirit. It takes the supernatural love of God to be moved with compassion for that single brother or sister, and to reach out and give them what they need--whether it's a shoulder to cry on, a prayer, some time of communication, or lovemaking.
56. All of this requires the work of the Spirit. You can't do it on your own. You have to be strong in the Spirit, strong in faith, strong in love, strong in sacrifice. That's why so few people in the Family fully understand the principle of "One Wife" or the concept of the greater marriage, because very few people want to make that kind of sacrifice. And the sacrifice I'm talking about is not forsaking or minimizing or mistreating your own individual family, but it's broadening the borders of your tents and giving more love and more concern, bringing others in and making them feel a part.
57. It's sad that the Family has gotten quite separate, quite selfish these days. The married couples are quite exclusive in their relationships and there is a lot of loneliness. Many people feel quite alone. You know, it's a natural God-given desire to want to belong to a family, a team, or some kind of body where you feel like you have a place and you make a difference, where people want you as an individual, they need you, and you make a meaningful contribution.
58. That's why companies that make all the employees feel important and needed and crucial to the success of the business are often very profitable. The employees are very loyal and they'll work hard and sacrifice willingly, because that feeling of oneness and belonging is a great motivation. It's a much better motivation than just money, promotion or glory, because it's a God-given desire, something that the Lord has put in the heart of man.
59. It's sad that even in some of our Homes people feel like they don't belong. They feel a little bit like outsiders, and like something is missing. They're there and they do their part, they fulfill their duties, but they wonder who really cares. Sure, they make a difference on the schedule of Home duties, and they take part in the witnessing and the training of the children and the JJT and the raising of finances, but they don't really feel like an integral part of a team or a body or a marriage.
60. I guess that's why there's so much moving from Home to Home. People don't stick together for long or dig in to pioneer and nurture and build a strong, lasting work for the Lord. They're always flitting from here to there, from one Home to another or one field to another.
61. What I really think they're looking for is just to belong. They want to find their place and those they can feel close to. They want to be somewhere where they feel accepted, needed and wanted--somewhere where if they left, it would really make a difference and they'd be missed as an individual, as a person, not just as someone to fill in the schedule, or help raise funds, or clean the house, but that their particular gifts, their talents, their personality, their sense of humor, their strengths, even their weaknesses and their individual or funny ways would be missed.
62. To put the greater Family first means to love your brethren with as much love as you can possibly muster up! It means, by God's grace, to give your brethren, your mates, your teamworkers, your co-workers, your friends, that single mother, that single brother or sister, and all the children as much love, attention, recognition and appreciation as you possibly can.
63. Remember, when you feel like you're doing all you can to muster up the love, that's when you must let the love of Christ constrain you! It all has to be a miracle of the Lord's love! The supernatural love of God is love enough to love anybody--and that's what it'll take to live the Law of Love. This is what it's all about--loving others with His supernatural love. But you're going to find that if you just step out and obey, He'll give you the love you need.
64. This is what He wants to do; He wants to love others through you. He has no hands but your hands, no arms but your arms, no mouth but yours to speak His words of love and encouragement. Right now it might seem impossible to you, but if you'll just give God a chance to love others through you, He'll do all the rest. He'll do what you can't do. His love will constrain you and move you to love others in a way you never thought possible before. As you put Him first and love the Family with His love, He will pour down His grace upon you--grace enough to love others, because it'll be His supernatural love working through you.
65. Each of you needs to ask the Lord to help you to love others as much as you love your own immediate family. That's the spirit of "One Wife" and putting the greater marriage first: When you're willing to expand your exclusive private relationship and reach out to others; when you're willing to sacrifice some of the private time you would have together to include others; when you're willing to open up your heart, mind and time to include other children when you're tutoring your own, or teaching them to read, or doing a science project with them, or reading them a story, or helping them to learn a new language, or just having fun, fellowship or get-out with them.
66. It's so easy to be private and exclusive; that's the natural way of man. It takes something supernatural to be giving, open, unselfish, and to love others as you love your own personal family. But it's not an impossibility! The Lord can do it! You just have to work at it and be willing to try. And above all you have to ask the Lord for His supernatural grace and love.
67. Now some people are called to make a decision that requires them to put their personal family in second place to the will of God. Sometimes people, especially shepherds and leaders or those with unusual callings, are asked to make great sacrifices for the sake of their ministry. You look at our leadership today and you see that many of them spend a lot of time away from their loved ones or their lovers or their children, and they do that for the greater good of the Kingdom and the Family. In many ways I guess it does look like they're putting their personal family in second place, and I think they are, because what has first place in their hearts is a desire and willingness to do the Lord's will no matter what the cost. If He asks them to do something to serve the Family, to shepherd the Family, to pioneer, to feed the Family or to strengthen the Family, and it requires a sacrifice of the time that they would normally have with their individual family, then they're willing to do that.
68. In such cases, they do put their family in second place. But you can be sure that the Lord blesses such sacrifices--both for the mate who must leave to fulfill the Lord's will and for the mate and children who stay back. And even though such sacrifices are difficult, and sometimes it may even look like the children or the mate suffer as a result, you can be sure, and I guarantee, that the Lord will bless such sacrifices in ways both seen and unseen. It might not always seem like it to those involved, but in the long run the Lord will more than repay--you can never outgive God!
69. The Lord asks all Family members to make sacrifices to one degree or another. Just like the example of the leader or shepherd above, the Lord will ask something of you personally in order to promote His Kingdom and His love and the unity He's trying to bring about, and to help you to be the loving Family He wants you to be.
70. For example, say you're a young couple with small children and you're looking forward to spending your family day together having a picnic, a little quiet time, a little personal communication, and giving a little individual attention to your own children after a busy week. But then the Lord lays it on your heart that the single mother in your Home and her children would like to go with you to the park on your picnic. She's been lonely and her children would enjoy the fellowship.
71. In that case, the Lord in a way is asking you to put your personal family and even your personal desires in second place for that time, so that you can open your lives and your time and your attention to someone who is in need. But you see, you're not really loving your immediate family less--you're loving the others more than you were previously if or when you tended to have a more exclusive outlook! You're trying your best to love the single mom and her children as much as you love your own, by drawing a circle to bring others in.
72. Here's another example: Maybe you as a couple had planned to go to bed early and have a time of lovemaking, but instead it turns out one of your co-workers is having a big battle with loneliness and is really missing a friend that he or she used to be very close to. So instead of having your personal time together, you invite your co-worker in for some Word time, fellowship time, and prayer time together. Or you go out for a walk together. Or you even have your mate go spend time in fellowship and lovemaking with that person who is lonely. This is another example of how you put your own personal desires and your personal family in second place. But it doesn't mean you love your mate less; it means you try to love that lonely person and give some of the time, attention and love to him or her that you would normally enjoy or that you had previously been enjoying exclusively.
73. It means that you open your lives together to others, that you hear the heartcries of those around you. This doesn't mean you have to love your immediate family less, and of course these times of reaching out to others need to be balanced with the genuine needs of your personal family and marriage and the investment of time you need to give them too. Of course you will still need time alone with your personal family, and you do not need to feel you always have to invite others along.
74. But take it from me, I can guarantee that if you'll begin to look at the needs of others, as you begin to look outward, as you become more sensitive to the needs of others around you, you're gonna find that the time you spend sacrificing to meet the needs of others is not really a sacrifice at all. You're gonna find it doesn't have to harm your marriage or your own personal family to help meet the needs of others around you--someone who has less than you, someone who is needy. You're gonna find that, instead of it being a sacrifice, you'll have the Lord's blessing and reward for your giving. You're gonna discover the great benefits there are in living His Law of Love, and that you never lose by giving!
75. That's what I did. I always opened my home and my arms to others. I drew a circle to bring others in! That's why we have the Family today. There's always room for one more! There's always room to reach out to others and include them in your circle of love and fellowship. Pray and let the Lord lead. Pray and ask Him how to find the balance, and He'll make it clear.
76. Naturally, you won't be able to meet everyone's needs the same; the important thing is to be open to who the Lord is leading you to reach out to! That's why He gave us the Family! We're one body! And everyone's needs should be getting met, and everyone should be doing their part to make that happen in whatever way or in whatever capacity the Lord is leading you to. If the Lord is speaking to your heart to reach out to those around you, you'd be wise to listen and follow His leading. Try it, and discover the great benefits it will bring to your life and the lives of others.
77. So you see, putting your greater marriage first does not mean you're putting your private marriage down to a place of lesser care, or to a place where your mate or children will be harmed. It means that you bring others up to a place of greater care, and you're willing to let your own desires and personal preferences take second place to the needs of others at times.
78. I know this isn't easy, but that's what living "One Wife" is all about. And you can be sure that the Lord will bless your efforts and reward you. It may not happen immediately, and it may not be in the way that you expect, but some way, somehow, the Lord will make it pay. He'll show you that you never lose by giving--by giving love, care, and attention to others, as you give to your own loved ones, your mate, your children, and those closest to you. (End of message from Dad.)
79. {\b \i (Mama:) }This good talk from Dad really helps to clarify some points that I think we've misunderstood. It seems many had previously concluded that to have the greater marriage in first place, you have to somehow lessen your love for your mate and children in your private marriage. That idea, of course, is not very inviting. Now you can see that the point is that you are to try to include others in your circle of love. Instead of putting your personal families down to a place of less love, you bring others up to a place of more love!
80. The whole point of living "One Wife" is to spread more love, more concern, more caring and sacrificial sharing. It doesn't make sense to think we would have to love our personal families less in order to accomplish this. That's not it at all! We are to continue to love our mates and children as much as ever, but we should try to love others impartially, which can only be done by a miracle of God! Of course, that's the ideal, the goal we can reach for. We won't always make it, but we can try! I'm sure we'll grow in love as we exercise our giving, sharing and loving muscles.
81. You couples might be tempted to think that in order to reach out to others like this, it will mean you will have a whole lot less time with your mate or children. Though you may be giving some of your time to others, broadening your marriage or parenting teamwork in this way does not have to detract from or lessen the care you give your own children or mate. It is not meant to weaken your marriage and family relationship.
82. Of course, as Dad pointed out, the needs and heartcries of those around you should be balanced out with the genuine needs of your marriage and the investment you need to make in your personal relationship. But as you begin to look outward and become more sensitive to others' needs, you may find that some of the personal time you have been accustomed to having together as a couple or family can be shared or even given to others without causing harm to your marriage or nuclear family. When giving in this way, to meet the needs of someone who has less than you or someone who is especially needy at the time, you can be sure of the Lord's blessing and reward.
83. Because there are so many different circumstances, I'd suggest you couples openly and honestly discuss this prospect of opening your lives up more to others. Take the time to evaluate and assess your marriage and how it presently stands. Go to the Lord together, seek His counsel, and get His leading to see if you need to invest a little time to strengthen the foundation of your marriage. Or, if you feel your marriage is pretty stable, if you feel secure with each other's love, seek the Lord on how you can begin including others more in your circle of love, whether it's reading with others, fellowshipping with others, reaching out to spend intimate time with others in need, or a combination of these and other activities. The Lord is able to make these things clear if you'll ask Him and be faithful to follow His leading.
84. Reaching out to others in these ways does not mean that your love together is lessened, but it's a broadening of your love as you draw a circle to bring others in. Through the Law of Love series and this further explanation of the "One Wife" vision, the Lord and Dad are trying to help us come to the realization that some of our former mindsets might need to change. One of our CROs explained this as follows, which I thought was very well put:
85. When we married couples spend time away from our mates in order to spend time with others, or we spend time together reading or fellowshipping with someone else rather than just spending time doing these things together alone, as a couple, it doesn't need to mean a lessening of the love the married couple has for each other, or a deterioration in the marriage relationship.
86. If we couples look at it realistically, we'll probably have to agree that we do have some time together that is "extra" or "comfortable" or just what we've gotten used to. Of course, that's what married life is about, just having the other "around" and loving their presence, and it does hurt for this to change. It can feel like a lessening of the love we've had together or putting it down to a lesser degree in order to reach out to others and include others more. But perhaps some of what we've gotten used to, although nice and we love and value it, is really "extra" when put in the context of the little that others may have, especially singles, and also in context with the goal the Lord's set for us of living the "One Wife" vision, with each in the Family being one of our mates in our greater marriage.
87. So some aspects of our married lives will have to change, and one aspect will probably be the amount of time we married couples actually spend together, or at least spend alone together. But this shouldn't be confused with what the Lord and Dad said about how living the "One Wife" vision does not mean that our love for our mates and children in our private marriage is lessened, that it isn't putting our personal families down to a place of less love, that we are to continue to love our mates and children just as much as ever.
88. It seems that what it means is a realization that some of what we've become accustomed to as far as time and life together as a married couple, the actual time we're used to spending together alone, as an individual couple, is quite selfish and non-inclusive of others and largely based on System values. It is true that couples do need time together for the reasons the Marriage GNs brought out, but that being exclusive and protective isn't of the Lord or His way, and this is the change of attitude we need to have.
89. So living the "One Wife" vision is going to mean a change in the time we spend exclusively with our mates. And in order to make this possible, so that it doesn't result in our feeling that it means a lessening of our love for our mates or putting it down to a lesser level, it seems we need to change our attitudes regarding what is actually necessary and what are those things that we've just become accustomed to but which aren't really necessary. It seems that many of our present attitudes and our sense of values along these lines are like bad habits that we didn't realize before, but which are a result of our own selfish natures, as well as the input and acceptance of System values all our lives, and we now need to change how we view these things.
90. Regarding this whole "time spent with each other" aspect for married couples, it seems that the readjustment of our thinking along these lines is important in order to bring the "One Wife" vision to pass without our thinking that we're losing something we had before, and thus maybe thinking that it does indeed mean a lessening of the love we have or show to each other. (End of comments from CRO.)
91. {\b \i (Mama:)} This CRO makes some very valid points here. Please ask the Lord if you need to change your expectations regarding what you've come to feel is actually necessary in your personal marriage and family situation. It's possible that some of you have become accustomed to a certain standard as far as personal or private time together that might be a bit exaggerated, and perhaps you need to adjust somewhat how you view these things, in order to be able to enlarge your circle of love.
92. Another helpful tip might be for you couples to seriously evaluate your time and seek the Lord for ways to best utilize the time you do have, both together and with others. Whether it is genuinely difficult to find the needed time together as a couple, due to ministries and responsibilities, or whether you have become accustomed to a standard that is exaggerated, as mentioned above, the Lord is able to help you find the balance and help you make the most out of your time together and with others. It always helps to schedule your time in order to get the most out it. So ask the Lord to show you ways you can adjust and accommodate to fit in everything you need to do in order to have the necessary time both together and with others.
93. As you work on finding a good balance between strengthening and enjoying your marriage and reaching out to others, you will need to go back to the Lord often in prayer. I suggest you seek Him often to know when to reach out, to whom, how much and in what way. Also seek Him about when it is necessary to have time alone with your mate and children. As you seek Him for ways to put these principles of "One Wife" into practice in your lives, He will faithfully lead you each step of the way. This is an ongoing process. It's not something you pray about once and then forget about. You don't just give once and then stop giving. Keep praying to know what He wants you to do and how He wants you to show love. Pray about every aspect of how to put the "One Wife" vision into practice in your life, and He will lead you and strengthen your marriage, your family and your circle of love.
More on Putting the "One Wife" Vision into Practice
94. Dad has already given us some very helpful information and practical examples, but I felt that surely there must be more that we could learn about this very important spiritual principle which is one of the fundamental cornerstone beliefs of the Family. If the Lord is leading us to live the "One Wife" vision much more than we have in the past, then I was quite sure He would be happy to give us all the explanation we need to be able to make fast solid progress.
95. I wondered, how do we make each Home a "giant parenting teamwork" in which we all bear the needs and feel responsible for our brethren? How do we make what the Lord called the "ultimate answer"--living the "One Wife" vision--a reality in our Homes? What is our greater marriage supposed to be like, and how do we make it work? I had these questions on my heart and so asked the Lord for more counsel, and Dad gave a very inspired talk that is just what we need to not only understand the "One Wife" vision more, but also have the faith and vision to do what is needed to make it more alive and real in our Homes.
96. {\b \i (Dad speaking:)} The "One Wife" vision is a big subject and one that really turns me on! I'm thrilled with the Lord's far-reaching, miraculous, powerful answers to the Family's problems, and believe me, living the "One Wife" vision is just that! It's an answer that you've all been desperate to find, and it's been there all along, but you just haven't fully understood it. I know the idea of a "greater marriage in spirit" is a pretty deep truth. So with the Lord's help, I'm going to try to explain a little more about what it means to be married to one another in spirit, as One Wife.
97. But I'm going to ask you to also help me with this explanation. I can hear you now, saying, "What's Dad talking about? How can we help him? We hardly understand the 'One Wife' vision ourselves!" Well, I'll tell you what, I'm going to give you some ideas, some starting points for understanding and putting the "One Wife" vision into practice, but then I want you to take it a step further and talk about those ideas, discuss them in detail, and see how you can live them--how you can put them into practice in your daily lives.
98. There's something very special about taking the time to talk about what the Word says. It's one thing to read it, but when you have to actually sit down and think about it and digest that Word and see what it means to you personally and as a Home, then you really get down to business. Then you can really make fast progress.
99. So as you read this message, I want you to be thinking about this little assignment. And then take some time to talk about it as a Home. It doesn't have to be immediately after reading this Letter. You can think and pray about it for a while, but don't delay too long or you might just forget it altogether. Thanks for your help on this. You'll see that it's worth the effort.
100. When you want to apply the "One Wife" vision in practical terms, just think of the things you would do in a private marriage--being loving, considerate, kind, supportive, comforting, caring, sharing, and so forth--and try to put that into practice as much as possible between you and all of your mates in your greater marriage. The way to put the greater marriage of the children of David into practice is all around, as much as possible, in the different areas of your lives.
101. Just think of all it takes to make a marriage, and work on that. Go to it! It will help to keep in mind that it does take time to grow into marriage. You can't necessarily expect everything to be hunky-dory from day one--you have to invest in it and work on it. But you have to start somewhere, and the important thing is to be growing together, making progress, and working on your marriage day by day. It takes lots of hard work to make a marriage work, but the results are well worth it! The results are strong bonds--strong cords that cannot be broken.
102. Remember, folks, although the Lord has given you the liberty to share sexually and to love each other in the bed of love, and this is wonderful and liberating and has many, many pros to it, sexual sharing is still only a small part of marriage. This marriage is all about real, true married love and is manifested in much broader terms than mere sex, emotions, love relationships, and in-love feelings.
103. With your greater marriage, the Lord wants you to live your married love. What's a marriage but a union? It's a uniting together. It's becoming one. So the best way everyone can begin to apply this marriage in practical terms is by living and putting into practice real, true married love, and getting it together as one Family, one wife.
104. Look at each other as individuals. Look at the other as that person you love, that mate that you need, that part of you that you cannot live without, because one cannot do without the other. Look at each other as someone who has something to contribute. (See 1Cor.12:12-25.)
105. Sex is really a very small part of a marriage--only about 2% or so. It's a very small portion compared to all the other factors that go into a marriage and into making it work. Sure, there will be relationships developing due to this greater marriage. There will be all sorts of relationships and degrees of emotion and love, and they won't always be the same. But just because there will be relationships and greater freedom sexually than has been practiced in recent years in the Family, nonetheless, all this should not dominate or be the main goal or thrust of the marriage of the children of David.
106. Even with the relationships and situations that arise, many of these will change from time to time according to the need and according to how the Lord is moving and working in each individual life. Emotions and in-love feelings will play a part, but they are not the main part. So I would advise you not to look at this as the main area to begin working on in building your marriage. You don't have to go out of your way looking for relationships. It takes a lot of lovin' to make a house a home, and it takes a Heaven of a lot more than sex and in-love feelings and relationships to make a marriage!
107. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for sex, and you guys certainly know that by now! Sex is beautiful and it can bring lots of unity and help bind you together. And as is obvious, sexual sharing is a part of this marriage, and more sharing amongst those who can will be one practical way that will help bring unity, when done in love and in counsel with those involved. As many of you have discovered, sexual sharing, if done within the guidelines of the Law of Love, really helps bring you together.
108. But as you have also found, it takes a large measure of love, prayerfulness and seeking the Lord for guidance as to when, where, how, with whom, and so on, and to make sure that no one is left out, or that people aren't getting too far off kilter to one extreme or the other. All things are lawful, but they are not always expedient. So in order to do this, you have to get it together in prayer, in counsel, and in seeking the Lord. To have a fruitful marriage, all the necessary ingredients--love, communication, prayerfulness, consideration and sex--have got to work together, because a false balance is not pleasing in the Lord's sight.
Marriage Is[DELETED]'
109. {\b \i (Dad continues:)} What is marriage? It's a union, a uniting, becoming one. It's being together, acting together, and doing things together. So looking for ways to do more things unitedly and together when possible would be a good start.
110. Marriage is understanding. It's being blind to the faults of the other. It's being considerate in every way--considerate of the other's time, of their feelings, of their wants and desires. Marriage is caring. It's being concerned. It's going out of your way to make sure the other person is well cared for and has their needs met. Marriage is kindness. It's kind words and putting those words into action.
111. Marriage is support. It's supporting your mates in their ministries, in their endeavors, in their projects, in their battles and trials. It's supporting them with your prayers and with your actions. It's going out of your way to help them if you can--to give them moral support, physical support, prayer support, all-around support. It's cheering them on and encouraging them when they feel down. Marriage is stooping to lift the other. It's being strong when the other is weak. It's caring for the sick and comforting the lonely.
112. Marriage is protection. It's protecting your mates from harm or danger by not making unwise moves, by keeping good security. It's protecting the other's feelings with kind words and deeds and actions. Marriage is provision. It's doing your part to make sure the other has their needs met. It's pulling your share of the load. Marriage is hard work day after day. It's going out of your way to meet the needs of each of your mates in whatever way you can, even if you don't feel like it. Marriage is lending a helping hand.
113. Marriage is sacrifice. It's sacrificing yourself for the benefit of the other. It's being ready to give up your own ideas or desires to make your mates happy. Marriage is giving of yourself. Marriage is yielding, bending, melting together. Marriage is going out of your way. It's preferring the happiness of another to your own.
114. Marriage is stepping out and trying new things, even if you think you might not like them. Marriage is learning from one another. It's give and take on both sides. Marriage is taking turns. It's not one-sided. Marriage is submission. It's giving the other person a chance. Marriage is living and loving and helping one another.
115. Marriage is being open-minded. Marriage is willingness--being willing to sacrifice. It's eagerness to lay down your life for the ones you love. Marriage is walking a mile in another's shoes. It's compassion. Marriage is fellowship--doing things together, being together. Marriage is companionship and friendship. Marriage is listening and understanding.
116. Married love stands through thick and thin, no matter how hot the trials or how hard the test. True married love never gives up hope for the other. It's always there, always dependable, always ready with outstretched hands and open arms to take the other in--to love, to comfort, to hold, and to cherish. Marriage stands through the bad times as well as the good times. Marriage is learning how to let it pass.
117. Marriage is honesty and good communication. It's being willing to share your heart and your thoughts in all humility. Marriage is as sharing as possible, as equal as possible. Man does not see equality as the Lord sees it. In the Lord's eyes, "equality" is everyone having their needs met. It's no one being left out, overlooked or forgotten. The marriage of the children of David should reach out and draw a circle to bring all your mates in.
118. Marriage is talking, communicating, praying, discussing, sharing ideas and agreeing together. Marriage does not let things build up between you by ignoring them, but it finds a way; it creates solutions. Marriage is joining hand in hand, heart to heart. It's standing shoulder to shoulder and arm in arm. Marriage is faith. It's all about faith--faith in Jesus and faith in each other. Marriage is confidence in your mates.
119. Marriage is discovery. It's discovering each other, learning about each other and all the funny things you say and do. Marriage is a good sense of humor. It's relaxing together, enjoying each other.
120. Marriage is accepting others for what they are. Marriage is coming to the realization that you are not complete without your other members. Marriage is respect. It's respect for the other--their talents, their anointing, their time.
121. Marriage is humbling. It's doing the humble thing. It's self-sacrifice. It's giving and giving and giving again. It's meeting the needs of the others first, before your own. Marriage can be plain old hard work! Marriage can be the most satisfying and strengthening experience you will ever have.
Do All You Can, and God Will Do the Rest!
122. {\b \i (Dad continues:)} Hallelujah! How's that for a "to do" list, or a "needs work on" list! That ought to give you some ideas on how to practically apply this greater marriage in the Spirit, and when you talk about these ideas, you'll undoubtedly come up with some even more detailed and specific ideas and applications. What a vision! What a goal! Just think of all the things that a marriage is, and then apply it to your mates in your greater marriage, those who you live and work with. Live together, love together, be helpmeets to each other. Go out of your way to love your mates--the ones He has put in your care.
123. I know this might look like a high goal to reach, but you don't have to worry. All you have to do is let go and let God, and He'll do it through you!
124. Marriage is taking action! It's taking action to show love throughout the day in whatever way you can. It's making a conscious, outright effort to put into action all of these ways to make it work. To make this marriage work, everyone has to do their part and take action! Do something to progress each and every day to move toward greater unity, greater togetherness, and greater love.
125. Marriage takes time--it's a process of learning and loving. And remember, folks, if you want this living the "One Wife" vision to work and be successful, marriage is a matter of being the right person rather than trying to find the right person or trying to change others to be what you think they should be. That's the key to success. If each of you will determine in your heart right now that you want to make this work, if you will stop and pray and make a commitment to the Lord that with His help and by His grace you are going to try to be the right person, then that's the victory right there! Because once each of you determines this, once you make the decision in your heart and mind and spirit that you want to do it, you want to try, and you want to do all within your power to make it work, then the Lord will do the rest! You do all you can and God will do the rest!
126. As each of you strives for this, to be the right person for each of your mates, everything is going to work out just fine. Hallelujah! What a marriage--the greater marriage of the children of David! This is supernatural! It's divine! It's going to cause a mighty roar, a mighty wave, and the repercussions are going to sweep the nations and rock the Earth! This is a marriage with a purpose, a marriage made in Heaven! Hallelujah!
127. Now I can see some of you wondering how on Earth you will ever be able to put all this into practice with so many people, when it takes so much work and effort to do some of the above with even one mate! If you're wondering how you're going to be all of the above in the greater marriage, with so many mates and so many personalities and so many likes and dislikes and so on and so forth, don't you mind that! All you have to do is at reach out and love those around you. All you've gotta do is love the one you're with! Love those right by your side who are in need. The Lord has given you each other to love--so love your neighbor, that brother and sister right there with you who needs your love and care.
128. Just take that first step and you'll see that the Lord will meet you, He'll help you, and you'll be amazed at what He'll do! As you put forth the effort of a believing will and you step out on the waters and begin to put this into practice today, in tangible, practical ways, as you reach out and love and give to each other--no matter the marital status, personality, nationality, or whether a first or second generation adult--He'll pick you up and carry you along with the greatest of ease! And the more you love and reach out, the easier it will get.
129. Love the one, young or old, that the Lord is putting in your path day by day, moment by moment. That's all you've gotta do, and you'll be surprised at what the Lord will do. Love your mates in your Home, the ones who cross your path daily. Just love the one who is crossing your path at that moment. Do your part. Be the person God wants you to be for that mate, in that moment, and God will do the rest! Praise God!
130. This marriage is going to rock the nations! And like all fruitful marriages, it's going to bear fruit--lots of fruit for the Kingdom of God! I love you! Keep on loving!
131. Are you with me? Are you ready to leave the old behind and go on with the new? Just like a man and a woman leave their mothers and fathers to marry, to become one flesh, to start a whole new life, are you ready to begin a whole new life of love? Are you ready to enter into the totality of His Bride--united in vision, goals, body, mind, heart and spirit?
132. Here we go! Standing arm in arm and shoulder to shoulder, let there be no more division! Hallelujah! Love, Dad (End of message from Dad.)
133. {\b \i (Mama:)} Thank you, Dad, for that tremendous talk, for giving us not only this very good explanation of how to live this new vision, but also a very stirring challenge! This is a pretty tall order, this long list of what marriage is, but it gives us all something to really strive for in our greater marriage in spirit! Thank You Jesus!
134. I hope you liked Dad's idea of taking the time to discuss this message as a Home. Like Dad said, you don't have to discuss it right this moment. You can take some time to think and pray about it, but please don't put it off too long. The goal would be to take the ideas Dad puts forth in this message and see how you can "put skin on them"--in other words, how you can actually do something about them. Discuss what they mean to you in practical terms, and give examples or illustrations of how you could improve in the points brought out. To make this easier for you, I'll list some of the points that you can talk about, to give you an idea of how to pow-wow this message from Dad.
135. * {\b \i Marriage is being together, acting together, and doing things together.} Ask yourselves: How can we do more together? How can we be more united? How can we find more time to be united for spiritual feeding, such as Loving Jesus inspirations, prayer and prophecy, lesson-sharing, etc., as well as for times of fellowship and relaxation?
136. * {\b \i Marriage is being blind to the faults of the other.} Ask yourselves: How can we be more blind to the faults of all our mates? How can we overlook little things that would normally bother us? If someone's little bad habit or idiosyncrasy annoys us, how can we cope with it so it doesn't get blown out of proportion or cause division or a schism between us?
137. * {\b \i Marriage is being considerate of others' time.} Ask yourselves: How can we be more respectful and thoughtful regarding our mates' time? How are we wasting each other's time?
138. * {\b \i Marriage is being considerate of others' feelings, wants and desires.} Ask yourselves: How can we not only consider others' feelings, wants and desires more, but also, how can we make our own feelings, wants and desires known? (Sometimes people aren't aware of what the other person needs, which makes it more difficult to meet those needs. When making your needs known to each other, however, it's good to keep in mind that the Lord often meets our individual needs in different ways, and sometimes in ways we don't expect. Remember the golden rule--Jesus, others, then you--that's what spells JOY!)
139. * {\b \i Marriage is going out of your way to make sure the other person is well cared for and has their needs met.} Ask yourselves: What needs of our loved ones could we as a Home and myself as an individual go more out of our way to meet? What needs have we been neglecting, ignoring or just not seeing? How do different individuals' needs vary?
140. * {\b \i Marriage is putting kind words into action by backing them up with loving acts.} Ask yourselves: How can our kind words be more meaningful? (Think of some kind words you've said lately that were just that--words, with no action to back them up. What can you do to make your "sermon" more of a "sample"? For example, do you tell others you love them, but never show them by giving them a hug or a warm embrace along with your words of love? Do you compliment the cook for a delicious meal, yet you never back up that action by lending a hand, perhaps by offering to help serve the food, or wash an extra dish and help clean up? Do you show your appreciation for the cook's labors of love, the handyman's toil, or the witnesser's long hours out on the streets by telling them how much you love and appreciate and need them, and then backing it up by helping in whatever way you can to make their load lighter? Are your kind words sincere, honest, truthful and heartfelt?)
141. * {\b \i Marriage is supporting your mates in their ministries, endeavors, and projects.} Ask yourselves: How can we manifest our support in practical ways? How can we be more helpful to one another?
142. * {\b \i Marriage is supporting your mates in their battles and trials.} Ask yourselves: How could we improve in helping to bear one another's burdens when someone is battling? What are the things that we can do that would be the most helpful when someone is struggling spiritually?
143. * {\b \i Marriage is stooping to lift the other.} Ask yourselves: When are times when we might need to lift up our mates? How can we best do that? How have we missed the mark in this recently?
144. * {\b \i Marriage is being strong when the other is weak.} Ask yourselves: How does this apply to our Home, both spiritually and physically?
145. * {\b \i Marriage is caring for the sick.} Ask yourselves: What have we done as a Home when someone has been sick? What have I done as an individual? Have we done all we could or should have done? If not, what was missing?
146. * {\b \i Marriage is comforting the lonely.} Ask yourselves: Are some people in our Home lonely? What can we do to help fill their need for companionship, support, sex, etc.?
147. These are only a few ideas of questions that you can ask yourselves as a Home and as individuals. As you go through this message from Dad, you'll find many other points worthy of discussion, and as you take the time to share your experiences and points of view, I'm sure the Lord will bless you. It will probably be a little humbling to open your hearts to one another in this way, but it will be well worth it! After all, for a marriage to be strong and healthy, you need honesty and humility. Praise the Lord!
148. My precious Family, I pray that these words have been a blessing to you and that they have helped to clarify further where we're headed and what the Lord expects of each of us. If you feel unsettled or bothered by anything in these messages, please ask the Lord about it. Let Him comfort and guide you, and if you do that, you won't have anything to worry about. Just take it all to Jesus. He knows, He loves, He cares, and He wants to make this great big step of living the "One Wife" vision as easy, fruitful and happy for you as possible.
149. Peter and I are praying for you, and know you're going to make it! We're getting stronger every day! There's no stopping us now! We love you!
Much love and prayers,
Mama
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
