FSM 355
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OUR side: In Defense of our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle, Part 4
FSM 355 CM/FM 09/00
I Trust Them With My Life
By Abner, CRO, USA
“Who on this freakin’ Earth is calling me at 10 a.m. on a Sunday
morning?” I muttered as I stumbled out of bed to answer the phone. It was
September 1979. I was working fulltime in my hometown in the US to pay off debts
and raise my fare to go to the field. I wasn’t in the best of spiritual health
(we’ll leave it at that, shall we?).
Me: “Yeah, who’zit?” (Most of my calls at the time were from friends
who would understand my grizzly nature, considering the time of day and my
current lifestyle.)
Peter: “Hi, Tom! (My name at the time.) This is Peter Amsterdam
calling from Switzerland.” (Pleasant voice, especially considering the
reception.)
Me: “Oh, uh, hi…uh…how are you?” (When people are nice to you, you
tend to try to be nice back. This was about the best I could muster, but at
least it was an improvement.)
Peter: “Great! It’s real nice here today. Abi and I were just out this
afternoon, and I thought I’d call you to let you know that you’re welcome to
come and join the Home here in Zurich if you’d still like. We’d be happy to have
you.” (I’d answered a WS want ad some weeks before, and they were looking for a
handyman.)
Me: “Hey, great. Wow. Thanks.” (Repentance starts setting in.)
Peter: “Well, do you want to go ahead and book your ticket and just
let us know? The sooner the better. We could really use your help.” (Things are
looking up, somebody even needs me. …)
Me: “Sure. I’ll do that.”
Peter: “We’re looking forward to meeting you. Dad and Mama said to
send you their love, too.”
Me: “Hey, thanks. God bless them!” (That wasn’t exactly happening to
me every Sunday.)
Peter: “Okay, well, I’d love to chat more, but since it’s long
distance I guess that’ll have to wait until you get here.”
Me: “Okay, thanks, I’ll let you know my flight as soon as I book it.”
Peter: “Thanks, Tom. God bless and keep you. Sure love you.”
Me: “Yeah, right, uh … yeah, love you too…” (I was a bit rusty on some
of the love stuff. See first paragraph.)
With that began my personal relationship with Peter. I traveled to
Switzerland where Peter and Abi picked me up at the airport. I was coming out of
a fairly backslidden state. My goals were still intact as far as my desire to
serve the Lord and reach others with His love, but my standard was, well, sort
of “fluid.” I was very Americanized. From the beginning, Mama and Peter have
never judged me for my weaknesses but have consistently looked beyond that to
bring out the good that lies underneath some of that corrupt exterior we all
have.
I went on to help at the WIMM (World Wide International Mail Ministry)
as a handyman-at least until I broke more things than I fixed, and so eventually
worked more and more on office work where I was less of a wreck. Peter was
actually only visiting when I landed in Switzerland, as he had been asked to
work more with Dad and Mama, who were in France at the time, and they very much
needed his help. This wasn’t an easy thing for him, as it required him being
away from Abi and his kids. I eventually got mated to Abi and helped raise the
kids, while Peter willingly sacrificed his time with them to do the work the
Lord was calling him to do. Difficult decisions-but that’s Peter!
I later learned from Mama that it was out of her concern for Abi and
her needs that she was led to ask for me to go to the WIMM, as she had the
intuition that I would be a help to Abi.-And that’s Mama! From my experience,
Mama puts the work first and she helps us in our service for the Lord to put Him
first as well, but she is always concerned about our specific needs and what
we’re going through, and desiring to do all she can to meet those needs. (Later,
during a time when I was separated from Abi, I lived and worked with another
precious leader, Robin, with whom I have great kids and who are all part of my
family.)
So from the very beginning of our relationship, I saw the stuff that
Peter was made of, and he’s been a tremendous encouragement to me. Over the
years since 1979, I’ve worked in various WS units, some closer to the field,
some more behind the scenes. Sometimes we worked near the Folks; other times we
were in another field. Through the years, Mama and Peter have shepherded me
through some real highs and some real, real lows. They’ve seen the best of me
and the worst of me (so far, anyway). They commended me when I was doing well,
and they’ve helped me when I wasn’t.
Sometimes that help was in the form of correction, and I have to say
that I received the stiffest correction I ever got from Peter. As far as I could
tell, I don’t think there were any holds barred on that one, ha! But without a
shadow of doubt, those words were definitely the “wounds of a friend,” given at
great personal effort. And it was given at a time when he and Mama knew that
without the help, I was about to lose my spiritual orbit and go off into space,
never to be heard of again. I needed help at that time and I needed correction.
And Mama and Peter have always had the faith to give me what I needed. That’s
not easy. It takes a lot of love. Anyone who is a shepherd knows that.
Some months later I got a little note from Mama. It’s in a tiny red
envelope that I still carry in my wallet 15 years later. The cover says, “I
thank God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3” And inside Mama wrote,
“Dear Tom (big red heart), I love you! Thank you for your love, your faith, your
dedication! I admire you for taking the ‘low seat’ and for your yieldedness and
willingness to receive correction and your fight to get needed personal
victories! You’re precious to us and we need you! Don’t give up! Keep going for
Jesus! You’re doing a great work! Love, M.”
You see, without a doubt, both Mama and Peter have the faith that we
can make it. And when we go through times of breakings or lesson learning, which
is all part of our lives as disciples of Jesus, they are not only there for us,
but they also have perfect faith that we can make it, and truly admire us for
our dedication to the Lord. I’m convinced of that.
I made the foolish mistake one time of looking into another leader’s
notebook after they had visited the Folks’ house. I thought there might be
something in there about me. (Why on earth would I go out of my way to read
something that would have been said about me? Well, I told you it was foolish.)
I didn’t find anything after all, but it was a serious breach in the spirit for
me to do that. Our life in the Family as disciples following Jesus as closely as
possible is a serious calling. We are called to be a tight Family who can trust
each other. To be looking through someone else’s notebook was a breach of that
trust and it bothered me that I had yielded to that. I knew that I would be
hindered in my spiritual growth, as it was a type of “cigar” coming between me
and the Lord, as the old story goes. So I wrote Mama about it.
Mama wrote me back a very encouraging reply, once again looking past
my sins and seeing the positive work of what the Lord was doing in my heart.
Because I had coughed up what was not only an embarrassing mistake, but also one
that would by all carnal reasoning cause me to be less trusted, she wrote that
she felt that she could trust me more. Perhaps, she said, not trust me to not
peek into another’s notebook, but to trust me to be open and honest if I did.
She saw something greater that the Lord had done in my life.
The story doesn’t end there, though. It must have been about three
months later when I was at a meeting with Peter that I asked if I could look at
a computer that he was using. It had some programs on it that he was testing,
and so I asked if I could take a look at it. He was about to lie down for a nap,
so he handed me the computer and said, “I’ve got some open files on it. Just
don’t look at those, okay?” This is to the known notebook peep, ha! But once
again, he trusted that I’d learned what I was supposed to learn from that
experience and that I wouldn’t let it happen again. And to this day, I haven’t.
Why? Because you know when you’re trusted and it makes you fight a little harder
to not betray that trust. (Aside from the fact that I really don’t want to have
to confess that again!)
Mama was traveling through the area I was in, in order to meet up with
Peter after one of his trips. Rather than staying in a hotel she asked if she
and her secretary could use a camper that was at our Home. I moved it to a local
campground where they stayed. (One thing Mama and Peter do not do is waste a
dime of God’s money!) It rained that night, and I came back in the morning to
find Mama sleeping in a chair in the camper as the roof was leaking in several
places. I couldn’t believe how cheerful she was!
“It’s okay, Abner! It started dripping on the bed, so I moved over to
the side. Then it started dripping there, so I moved over to this nice cozy
chair and I just prayed against any more drips and slept so well. The Lord kept
it nice and dry here! Isn’t He wonderful?” I mean, it’s one thing to be polite,
but she was just genuinely cheerful and happy and loving Jesus and thankful for
the dry place she had to sleep, even if it was in a chair in a leaky camper. And
you can bet that those wakeful hours at night were spent loving the Lord,
praying for individuals in the Family, or listening to tapes and attending to
her huge mountain of a workload.
When you’re around Mama in her normal living or work environment, you
become aware that she is totally absorbed in loving the Lord first, and loving
and helping others second. She totally lives to love and to serve. For me, she
is the embodiment of Matthew 22:37-40.
If I could say anything about Mama and Peter in a few short sentences,
it would be this: The Family could not be in better, more loving, concerned or
capable hands. There is no one that I would trust more to carry the ball across
the finish line of the Endtime, to faithfully follow wherever God leads
regardless of the opinions of men or carnal reasoning. They have unswerving
faith that comes from a deep connection with God, and they have a tireless
dedication to the Lord, to His children, and to those who have not yet found His
love. We’ve all seen that. They are both very loving shepherds and extremely
capable executives. (They’re pretty smart, too, though they’ll just tell you
it’s the Lord. It does take some brains to run such a large and complex
organization as the Family today.) They need and deserve our prayers, our help,
and our support. They are only human, and they are totally aware of their own
human limitations. And they are utterly leaning on the power of God to finish
the job.
I trust them with my life.
If That Isn’t Love?
From Bethy, 27, WS
The accusation that Mama and Peter treat badly those who are not
totally “on board” or “loyal” upsets me, because I have personally witnessed the
exact opposite. Not just on one occasion, but repeatedly over the years. A few
instances immediately come to mind.
One was during the first two years of the Zine. As a Zine team, we had
a ways to go in being fully united with each other, as well as on board with the
way the Family was going. Although we were living in a different unit than the
Folks at the time, we communicated with Mama frequently due to the nature of our
work.
Mama would approve the work we did, and there were occasions when she
would make a change that some did not agree with or had a question about.
Sometimes the letters written back to Mama explaining the reasons someone did
not agree with her were less than positive and could easily be termed as
disrespectful, doubtful or accusing. This type of thing happened on many
different occasions, and it never ceased to amaze me how loving and
sweetly-presented Mama’s replies were. She always encouraged us to ask her if we
had any questions or didn’t understand why she was making the change she did. On
some occasions Mama conceded on our point, and other times she felt led
otherwise and stood by her point.
But she was always ready to hear us out, and if she didn’t agree with
us, she would explain it thoroughly and very lovingly.
I found out later just how hard all this was for Mama. It came to a
point where she felt obligated to defend every change to us, and spent a lot of
her time doing so. However, despite continued questions and disagreement with
the direction she chose to go, she was always encouraging and loving and kind in
her presentation, and took her time to explain things to us even when faced with
personal criticisms and questions on her decisions. The fact that some chose not
to accept the answers or the explanations was not Mama’s fault or the fault of
her presentation.
I have on file forty different long letters Mama wrote to us over the
period of a year and a half. These are not just, “Oh, could you change this word
to say that” kind of letters, but these are all letters of explanation as to why
she felt led to make a certain change, or they are responses to different ones’
letters to her.
Here is a quote from one of those letters that gives you an example of
the way she treated these differing opinions and questions that were posed to
her.
“I appreciated your bringing up the points that you did, and I
understand your thoughts and how you could feel that way. I’m always glad to
hear from you, and I appreciate your taking the time to write. It doesn’t worry
me when I hear ideas or opinions contrary to my own.-I freely admit that I need
lots of help, and I’ll always pray about it if something comes up that I haven’t
already considered. So don’t hold back on telling me something just because
you’re worried about bringing up a different opinion, because I appreciate it.
“I’m really thankful that you wrote me. I didn’t consider your letter
out of it.-Quite to the contrary, as you’ll see in the message below, Dad
commends you for asking honestly, he really loves you and is proud of you!-And I
agree. Thanks for being such a blessing and big help to us through all that you
do there.”
No one can tell me that Mama and Peter treat badly those who do not
agree with them on everything. All I have seen is continued patience, love,
understanding and kindness, even when they might have been personally hurt or
disappointed by what people who disagree with them say or do.
* * *
One time I was present with my dad [Peter] when a young person
explained to him the kinds of difficulties and harsh treatment they had received
in a “Victor” type program gone-wrong. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear. I
looked over at him at one point, curious as to what his reaction would be, and
he was crying. It touched my heart so much. Of course, it was sad to hear of the
harsh correction that this dear one had undergone, but I was so touched to see
my dad so personally affected by it as to bring him to tears. I could see he
felt responsible in some way and was very saddened that things had reached such
a point. With tears in his eyes, he very humbly asked forgiveness of this young
person. Even though my dad had nothing to do, in my opinion, with the treatment
the young person had gone through, I was so impressed by the fact that he felt
personally bad and asked forgiveness. He didn’t have to, but he did. It’s
something I’ll never forget.
* * *
It’s been a great joy for me to be able to see Mama and my dad
together. They love each other so much and they are so sweet and personable with
each other. It has been a great blessing to have had more contact with them in
recent years. And to see them with Trevor and Olivia, their grandchildren, is
such a joy! They are typical grandparents-which means of course, the children
behave much differently around them than they do around their parents, ahem!
Well, not to worry, the Folks just enjoy the children so much. The first time
they had the opportunity to be with both of them together, they wanted to take
them “solo,” assuring Keana and I that they would be fine, that we should take a
break and come back to pick up the kids in a few hours.
After about an hour, Keana and I, knowing our kids rather well, and
being especially acquainted with the energy they contain, thought we might
consider “checking in” to see how they were getting on. As we got close to the
door, peals of laugher were ringing out, and when we came in, the kids were
doing….well, you know…the things three-year-olds do, and highly entertaining
Mama and Peter.
It was just hilarious to listen to Mama’s account of their time with
the children later, and to witness Mama’s amusement at how much energy they
contain. “Do they ever sit still for more than a few minutes?” was her question.
She and my dad had planned ahead of time what they would do with the children-a
plan involving lunch, story, coloring, etc. All of which was completed in about
45 minutes, much to their surprise.
As a mother, knowing your kid is going to be spending a few hours of
“quality time” with Queen Maria and King Peter without you around can be a
little unnerving. You wonder what on earth they will think about your
less-than-perfect three-year-old afterwards. So it was quite a relief to find
they were just delighted with the children and with the chance to spend time
with them, despite the food that had spilled on the table, the marks that had
been accidentally drawn on the couch and the fact that the kids couldn’t sit
still for longer than two minutes for a story. Mama commented, “I need to brush
up on my pre-school skills, I can see.” But they immediately began fashioning
great plans for an outing-although they wisely decided to bring the mothers and
perhaps a “support staff” along next time, ha!
Although we don’t live in the same unit as the Folks, when we were
nearby and whenever possible they’ve always tried to make special times to see
and fellowship with the kids. Even when they were busy or had to take care of
other things, they would schedule some special time to spend with them. Once we
had a big meeting, and of course the children didn’t attend; however, they had
dinner with just the kids afterwards in their bedroom. They gave them little
plastic flowered “leis” as a gift, which they promptly donned and started their
own little “Hawaiian dance school” in the room. The kids insisted that Grandpa
Peter do a “Hawaiian prayer” for the meal, which he did, much to their delight,
actions, dancing and all. After the meal, they played hide and seek. The kids
took turns hiding and then it was Grandma and Grandpa’s turn. It was so fun for
me to watch Mama scurrying around the room, trying to find a suitable hiding
place while the kids counted from the bathroom. She settled on standing behind
the curtain. Grandpa Peter was found easily, but Mama had to stay hidden for
quite a while as the kids “searched” for her. Finally, this stifled giggle came
from behind the curtain, giving her away, and everyone was laughing when the
kids finally pulled the curtain away. It was so wonderful for me to watch.
Mama and Peter are so natural and normal, and to see them interact
with their grandchildren is such joy and so fun. They always love to hear any
funny stories we have about the kids.
It’s Our Right to Believe What We Wish!
By Dawn (formerly Lois), CRO, Europe
My name is Dawn-some of you may have known me as Lois. I’m very proud,
thankful and happy to say that I’m coming up to the 30th anniversary of my years
in this wonderful Family, next month in fact!-Quite an achievement, some would
say, but I know it’s simply a case of “by the grace of God stand I,” a testimony
to His strength and keeping through my many times of weakness and desperation
over these three decades. And I couldn’t be more thankful that He has done so!
Thirty years is quite a stretch out of anyone’s life, and as I’m sure
each of you could testify of your own years in the Family, whether they be many
or relatively few-the Lord really knows how to make each year a whopper, exactly
what we need! I have been through many changes and “revolutions” in the Family.
I have been involved in front-line witnessing and teaching my children to do so,
as well as years in other type of work-secretarial,
behind-and-in-front-of-the-scenes, shepherding of WS units, and most recently
the Lord has entrusted me to help with the shepherding of the Family as a CRO, a
responsibility which I am very desperate about.
Well, these are pretty tough times we’re living in, times which “try
men’s souls” in many ways, and times in which the battles we’re called upon to
fight are getting fiercer and fiercer. The spiritual warfare we’re engaged in is
very obvious to those who have their eyes opened to what the words and sights
and sounds that we’re surrounded with really mean-and to me they mean that the
gauntlet has been thrown down with a force that it hasn’t until now, and it’s
time for us to take it up with equal force and determination as we fight back.
I recently read something which a former member of our Family wrote-an
explanation of his interpretation of some past events, the conclusions he’s
reached regarding some of our Family beliefs, as well as his impressions and
denouncement of Dad, Mama and Peter. He’s obviously chosen his path, as he has
decided to remove himself from our membership, and as I have just explained
above, I have chosen mine. I have written a few testimonies over the years on
specific subjects or lessons as they have come up in my life, and you have
gotten a peek into some of my highs and lows through the desperate introductory
letter to “Let Jesus Bear the Weight” and a few other Letters. But this time is
different.
I love you, my dear fellow Family members. This Family is my life, my
chosen profession and dedication, my passion and my calling. I have no doubt
that it was our wonderful Savior and Lover, dear Jesus, who called me to this
ragtag band 30 years ago, and I have no doubt that He still wants me to be a
part of it today. And you-each of you who daily make that same decision with
me-are part of what I live and die for. Of course Jesus comes first, and without
His wonderful Words and the channels through which He has chosen to pour it, our
dear Dad, Mama and Peter, we wouldn’t have the Family to live in and for and
with, nor to bring others to. All these things I am proud of and hold my head
high when thinking or speaking of them.
But this Family is under attack-serious attack. It’s nothing new, as
the Lord’s Words and prophets-and of course the Lord Himself-have been under
attack since the beginning, as Satan the usurper desired to have God’s Kingdom
and His children as his own. I have experienced many different and varied
attacks on the Family, all of which you can read about in the annals of our
history in the Letters and publications, and I have fought back in different
ways at different times-prayer, working on Word compilations, being a part of
one of our major court case teams, and prayer, prayer and prayer again!-And
thank the Lord, He delivered us from each one, whether they were inside or
outside attacks-and we still stand today.
But this present attack is different-as there will probably be many
new and different methods employed by the Enemy over the years to come-and this
one seems to be hitting its mark with our Family members directly, especially
our tender, vulnerable, very potential second generation. In this attack, the
writings and surmisings of those who proclaim themselves to be “in the know”
raises questions about aspects of things which have been “behind the scenes” for
many years: questions about Dad and Mama and Peter and their true nature,
questions about their motives and character, questions about the sincerity of
what we read about them in the pubs and whether it reflects reality, questions
about the preparation of the Word for pubbing and thus its veracity, and so on.
Theirs are hard-hitting accusations, and they hit at those who don’t
have much to counterattack with, because those of us who have had the blessing
of being able to personally meet and live with the Folks have been relatively
few. I am one of those, and my experience and conclusions are vastly different
from those who write such scathing and demeaning treatises, so much so that it’s
difficult to believe that we’re speaking of the same people-our King Peter and
Queen Maria, and of course, Dad too!
It’s as if two people are walking a parallel path, side by side
through much of the scenery, fields and parks and whatnot that they’re traveling
through. Their paths veer off from each other from time to time, and then merge
for a time again. And then at the end of the road, one looks back and describes
a journey of horror and darkness and gloom, while the other describes a path of
difficulties at times, but one in which there were some loving and caring hands
there at all times to help them find their way, and which helped to make the
journey one which I’m very thankful to say continues on today. Well, he told his
story, and now I will tell mine.
My more intimate relationship with Dad and Mama began around 1983,
when they moved to the Philippines where my husband, Apollos, and I and our
children had been living for some time already. At that time we helped them to
get set up in some temporary housing, and then helped them at various times as
their team grew to accommodate the needs of the services they needed to tend to.
Those were wonderful years of living close to them, of being for the first time
under their direct shepherding, of benefiting from their guidance and closer
hand in our lives, as well as their correction when we needed it. I began at
that time to understand what Dad and Mama and Peter’s shepherding was really all
about-and to describe it would be like trying to describe a rainbow, as it’s so
multi-faceted and beautiful.
Just a little example: One time I was leaving one of the nearby
unit-Homes after an evening of fellowship with them. It was rainy and a bit
slippery, and true to my goatish nature, I hoofed it out down the driveway by
myself, and promptly slipped and hit bottom hard-being a few months pregnant at
that! Apollos picked me up and I hobbled home, and spent a few painful days with
extra padding on my seat. When Mama heard about it, the response was one of
those “rainbow” ones I mentioned, a bit of everything!
I got lots of sympathy and compassion, prayer and words of concern,
was told to be sure to rest and not overdo; and then was chided for walking off
on my own without holding on to my husband’s arm, and him for not taking ahold
of it as he should whenever we’re out together, so that we could be a help and
support to each other. Dad’s example came into the picture too, of how this is
what he has taught Mama, and how we should be with each other-the men to be
gentlemen and be there for the women, and the women to allow their partners to
be gentlemen to them.
I could fill pages with such examples, and maybe I will some time. But
with 17 years to cover from the time I began to know the Folks more personally,
I’ll have to limit it this time. But perhaps a brief summary of some of the
events and times and situations which stand out to me over the years will help
to paint the picture a little more clearly of what this journey with them has
been for me.
* * *
Around 1985, during the time of the “wind down” of WS, Peter met with
my husband and me to explain how they felt the Lord was leading for some of the
families in WS that had children who were getting older to move to the field,
that this would help to better meet the growing needs of the children, as well
as help WS be able to better concentrate on their projects for the Family. This
was a big change for us, leaving friends and loved ones, stepping out after
years of behind-the-scenes work to the “unknown” of field life, including the
decision of whether Apollos and I would go together or how it would all work!
The Lord had given me a verse as I was praying before meeting with
Peter, which prepared me for the news he was going to share. Peter didn’t know
of the Lord’s preparation of my heart, and it was obvious that it was very
difficult for him to break the news to us-in fact, it was very painful for him,
anticipating that it would be a very difficult heartbreak for us. His tears and
honest and sincere compassion meant more to me than anything could have, and I
knew that his heart was one that truly fit the description of rejoicing with
them that rejoice, and weeping with them that weep. I have seen this time and
again from not only Peter, but from Dad and Mama too, as after all, Peter was
their “student,” and this was the sample and heart he had seen and learned from
them.
* * *
Mama helped me greatly in the transition the Lord asked me to make
from being a behind-the-scenes, shy and withdrawn secretary to someone with
shepherding responsibilities. This first came about as I was asked to accompany
some of the ambassadors (Abi, Juan, and Gary), as they held delegates meetings
for training in different parts of the world, followed by the TTC in Mexico. As
unaccustomed and disliking as I was of any kind of public speaking, or even much
one-on-one shepherding, Mama went very slowly and patiently with me. She never
condemned or berated me for my hesitancies and fears, but rather encouraged me
not to worry about it, to just be myself, and that others had seen enough of the
big, strong vocal leaders, and it would do them good to see someone a little
meeker and milder, who nevertheless the Lord could use.
Her own sample has been a great encouragement to me in this regard,
and I have never seen her condemn or look down on others for their weaknesses or
lacks. In fact, she has tremendous understanding and compassion on the weak and
on those who battle, truly seeing herself as weak and needy of the Lord’s help
in every area, as nothing without Him, and she reflects the faith that the Lord
is capable and desirous of helping us all.
* * *
I saw the Folks’ patience, mercy, and forgiveness extended to me many
times, both during times of battling with my besetting weaknesses and sins such
as self-righteousness, as well as after some serious blow-its. Once we were
preparing a series of newspaper articles for a major local newspaper, and I
worked on finalizing corrections and last-minute changes before they were sent
to the Family members who would submit them to the newspaper for printing. One
day Peter came to me asking if I for sure had sent the final draft of the last
article, and if so, why had the Family member who received it questioned
something which was supposed to have already been corrected? And lo and behold
(and woe is me!), I had sent off one of the rough drafts instead of the
finalized one-a very serious mistake considering it was for a broad GP
readership!
But I received mercy-a little sad shaking of the head with a thankful
sigh that someone had caught it-and that was enough for me to have some very
desperate prayer time with Jesus, asking His forgiveness and help to be more on
the ball and sober and prayerful, and never do that again!-And did someone else
take care of the final draft the next day?-No, everything continued as it had,
except for a much more serious and prayerful secretary, and a greater
understanding through the mercy I’d received of what true unconditional love and
trust really means.
* * *
Over the years that I lived and worked with Dad, Mama, and Peter, I
have been involved to some degree or another in their praying or counseling
about many different people and situations. I can never recall them speaking or
counseling about someone in anger or with any feelings or terms or expressions
which would indicate that they didn’t like a person, were upset with them, had
any motives of vengeance or harm, or anything like that. I have only experienced
and felt their love, concern, empathy, sympathy, and deep desire to do all they
could to help, whether it was by being able to understand a person or situation
better and thus being able to give the counsel that was needed; hearing from the
Lord for or about them; and of course praying for them and asking the Lord to
work in lives and hearts as needed.
I’d like now to move on to more recent years. Perhaps one of the most
difficult times for all of us was the persecution years beginning in 1992. In
Europe during those years, we suffered raids on our Homes in Spain and France,
as well as a major court case in England, which raised the question of whether
our Family is a safe environment in which to raise our children. During much of
that time I was involved with the court case battles in one way or another-at
times living with those working on the case and being immersed from morning till
night in the many details of it, at other times visiting and meeting with
different media and legal teams about situations that had arisen, reading and
writing reams of material about every aspect of the case and the various
accusations which were thrown at us.
That time was one of those “crisis of faith” times for me, when
because of the accusations which were hurled at us, which I was forced to read
because of the need to pray and counsel with others about them, there were many
different angles of our life and beliefs which I was confronted with which I
hadn’t formerly considered. These were questions and criticisms about things
which I had taken by faith these many years, questions which had previously
never entered my mind, and accusations which sent the mind spinning with a
completely different twist on things that I had previously believed with pure
childlike faith-accusations of things such as child abuse, mindless adherence to
a “cult” and “cult leader,” brainwashing, etc. So in the midst of trying to
battle for the Family, I was faced with questions about my own faith and future,
and knew that I had to reconcile these things with myself and the Lord.
So I did a lot of praying, rereading of the Word, studying and
researching those things that I had taken with such faith and innocence before,
to see if I still believed them in the face of these criticisms and
contradictions. And in the end I made the decision that I did, that they were
truth, that they were based on Scripture, that the spirit and fruits I’d seen in
the Family were undeniable, and that it was worth fighting for.
I’ll come back to this reference point a little later, but in order to
keep up with the chronological order of events of my personal experiences and
interactions with the Folks, I’ll go on to another of my major battles, a few
years later, when I again hit a low point. This was the time of “Let Jesus Bear
the Weight,” when “troubles just tumbled about me and heavier came each task.”
My letter to Mama and Peter at the beginning of that GN explains how low in
faith and trust I had become, and their response was again a sample of their
love and concern and true shepherds’ hearts. Peter came all the way from
wherever he was to meet with me and our teamwork, with the main goal being to
help strengthen me and to present me with a choice-to either grab ahold of the
Lord’s strength and grace and learn to let Him bear the weight, thus being able
to continue on with helping to shepherd the Family, or to let it all go and take
an easier route of serving the Lord in a less strenuous capacity.
What I didn’t realize until Peter was with us for a few days was that
his making this trip to meet with us was actually during the time of his and
Mama’s honeymoon together! He had just received his new commission from the Lord
and Dad, he proudly and humbly (at the same time) showed me the ring which was
previously Dad’s but now on his finger, and told me that the Lord had put him
and Mama together! Wow, what news! And here was I, being a “problem case,”
resulting in calling Peter away from their honeymoon to baby-sit me!
Well, was I ever humbled when fully realizing the scope of their love
enough to bend over that cliff to rescue this poor lost lamb. That’s the love I
received from them, and this love is what I have seen as the motivation behind
their decisions and actions time and time again-that of unselfishly,
sacrificially and lovingly serving the flock, their fellow servants and mates in
this Family that they love.
A few months after this incident when Mama began explaining in the
Letters about how the Lord had put her and Peter together and had called and
anointed Peter to be our king, I must somewhat ashamedly admit that I had a
battle about it at first. I knew Peter fairly well and loved and admired him
greatly. I had the blessing of working with him on different occasions over the
years, and had been in meetings he’d held, counseling sessions and so on.
Nothing had ever come up which would cause me to doubt his sincere love for the
Lord and the Family, and his desperation to shepherd, lead, guide and serve us
well.
But still, I was shaky in my initial acceptance of this change.
Why?-Probably just because it was different, and because Peter wasn’t Dad, and
because I had lived 15 years with Dad as our king-in other words, I was in a
rut. But when praying about it, I remembered the sacrificial mission of love and
mercy that Peter (and Mama by agreement and proxy) went on just to love and
rescue me, to give me the opportunity to see through the fog that I had allowed
to cloud my vision, that I might see clearly again in order to make a
knowledgeable choice regarding how to proceed with my life.
I owed them much, as I’m sure I would have regretted a choice that
would have been less than the Lord’s highest for me. And realizing what love I
had received brought me to the conclusion that even if Peter isn’t Dad, I can
accept him as the Lord’s chosen, for the Lord’s love through him and Mama had
proven their anointing and right to royalty-our servant king and queen. I don’t
know, maybe I’m such a weak vessel that the Lord had to engineer these
circumstances to give me proof of Mama and Peter’s love and to help me have
faith that they are truly the Lord’s chosen channels. But if that’s what it
took, I accepted it gratefully and humbly, and my faith has never been
disappointed.
* * *
A year or so later, I have a similar story to tell-this time not of
Peter coming to help me, but of me being invited to their Home for a time of
rest and re-strengthening. Letting Jesus bear the weight didn’t come so easily
for me, and on top of the continued workload which we had, I began struggling
with the use of the gift of prophecy-not the doctrine or theology of it, but
with my personal gift. I just didn’t seem to have it, and when all around me
were receiving direction and answers and guidance through their gifts, mine
seemed to grow dimmer and dimmer.
I had written to Mama about this and told her of my battles, and again
the reply was one of love and faith that the Lord could and would do it, and
then reaching out her hand to help pull me up. (You’d think by this time that
they’d have come to the realization that maybe I was just too weak to hold any
training or input or investment of time and attention they might give me, and
just let me be. But that’s not their way-not with me, and not with any of their
children, as far as I’ve seen.)
So I spent a wonderful three months with them, months which confirmed
everything good I had ever heard about them, and decried every lie that had been
uttered, including those that are presently being circulated. As I used the
illustration earlier, living with Mama is like watching a rainbow grow and take
its shape and form and color, and then watch as it maintains that fullness and
completeness on an everyday basis. Mama is concerned about every aspect of the
Family, the Family’s members, their hearts and lives and families, ups and
downs, battles and victories, as well as the bigger picture of the Words that
are being received and going through the stages to be sent to the Family,
different projects in the works both in WS as well as worldwide. You name it,
Mama is concerned and in prayer about it, and wants to make sure it’s right.
Those three months I was privileged to have many conversations with
Mama about a large range of topics, and I was amazed at her capacity to hold so
many situations and people and projects in her prayers and attention and concern
all at the same time. Mama listened to every letter that came in to her, and
many times our conversations were taken up largely by her desperate prayers for
the ones who had written and their situations, that the Lord would give His help
and answer their needs and prayers and bring victory-and of course, that He’d
speak and give His Words of comfort and love or guidance and counsel. I saw (or
rather heard of) Mama’s weeping through the night when reading the heartbreaking
letter from the young woman whose letter prompted the “Jesus Our Good Shepherd”
prophecies. No one was too little or unimportant-if their cry came before her,
Mama was concerned for them.
Mama’s patience with me through my prophecy battles was a great help
to me. She truly is that little girl of faith that Dad spoke about, who helped
inspire and encourage his faith many times simply because she believed, and she
continues to do the same with each of us today. Some of the accusations I have
read about Mama are horrendous and ridiculous, and if there was any inkling of
truth to them, I am sure there would be many more testimonies and outcries that
we would have all heard about, and I’m sure I would have seen at least some
hints of it during my visits and times with them. It’s sort of like the search
for the “missing link”-if evolution is true, we should be knee-deep in’m!
But from my personal experiences as well as what I have observed to be
their reaction and responses to others, I have seen only love and patience and
compassion, and a very prayerful balance of shepherding and trusting the Lord to
work in people’s lives. They were there when I needed them, there for me just as
they are for you and everyone in our Family. I’ve seen their love and concern.
I’ve seen Mama weep over letters she has received, heart cries that have caused
her sleepless nights. I heard firsthand of her reaction to tragedies such as the
Austin accident-such love and concern for her flock, and such a desire for the
Lord to work and strengthen them, and to hear His answers and guidance for them.
Some have accused Mama and Peter of being “control freaks,” of wanting
only conformity to their wishes and desires, to what they believe the Lord gives
through them. But the love and concern I saw is not control-it’s tender loving
care. Does a mother “control” her children? Does a mother’s love and concern and
care translate to “control” to those who love and need her?-Sometimes, as with
some it can be misdirected that way. But I don’t believe this is the case with
Mama and Peter. As with the example of Peter’s visit to help me, they put forth
clearly my options, and the decision of which path to take was up to me.
* * *
I have also read accusations about myself-and about you too, by the
way-that we are unthinking and naïve, that we have abdicated our right to choose
in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe
and obey whatever they say. Well, I would take exception to being called
unthinking and naïve. I don’t think anyone who has been in the Family this long
would be so without having put some thought and prayer into it, and without
being aware of all the possible reasons why he or she shouldn’t! Ours isn’t an
easy religion, as we all know. There are many difficulties and battles, both
physically and spiritually. The Lord and the Folks have continually asked us to
count the cost and to evaluate our status in the Family to make sure it
accurately reflects our faith and actions.
There have been several points in the Family, such as recently with
the call of decision to sign the Charter Membership contract, where the Folks
basically said, “As of this point, there are no longer any Family members. If
you want to be one, you have to sign up!” Those of us who signed certainly had
to think (and pray!) to do that, especially as the contract included a list of
the Charter Membership guidelines that we were agreeing to!
I don’t find any lack of thought or naivety there, and in fact the
goal of the S2K, as well as other times of shaking the tree previous to that,
was to only have those on board who were fully aware of what they were in the
Family for, and fully in agreement.
And at this point I’ll go back to the crisis of faith which I
explained earlier, during the time of persecution and the different court cases
we were embroiled in. That time of re-evaluating what I believed in, as
difficult as it was and as close to the brink I was as I looked down, served to
set a stronger rock underneath me than had ever been there before. I looked the
issues in the face, as well as the fruit of Dad and Mama’s shepherding of us
all, and decided that in spite of the difficulties and problems, which I didn’t
deny, I was still sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was in it and
that He was continuing to be a very real and involved part of the Family. The
Family was His “baby,” and our continuing to follow the radical lines He’d
directed us down, in spite of the System’s persecution and disdain, only assured
our continuing to stay in the center of His will and plan.
I hope you, my dear mates in this wonderful Family, take similar
affront at such accusations against our intelligence and the decisions of faith
which we have consciously and purposely made. It is certainly our right to
believe what we wish, no matter how crazy or foolish it may seem to some. Isn’t
that part and parcel of what we are called to as Christians? “I am become a fool
for Christ’s sake!” (I’m sure you can quote many others along similar lines!)
Am I unthinking and naïve just because I choose to believe that which
someone else doesn’t or can’t? I would hope not, although we know we shouldn’t
be surprised that such accusations are leveled against us more and more, with
greater and costlier repercussions. “If we have run with the footmen and they
have wearied us, what shall we do in the time of horses?”
* * *
The second part of the accusation I mentioned above, that we have
abdicated our right to choose in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that
we unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they say-well, in a sense that’s
true, and for those of us who have chosen this path of CM membership in the
Family, we have done so knowing and understanding what it means-”with full
consent.” I have no problem with giving over my “right to choose,” my right to
discern what is true and false, to the Lord’s choice of Mama and Peter as our
prophets and shepherds. This is what I knowingly and with full control of my
faculties choose-what I believe to be their anointing and inspiration as the
Lord’s mouthpieces for us in these End Times.
Were God’s people in the pages of the Bible unthinking and naïve in
giving their full faith and obedience to the guidance of the Lord through Moses?
(It was those who didn’t who were in trouble!)-Or Noah (same answer!)? How about
David or any others of the Lord’s prophets for their times and places? Why
should it be any different now?
And why should the radicalness and differentness of some of the
messages which we are receiving today cause us to waver or doubt, or to proclaim
that they are false prophets spewing out a mass of weirdnesses? “Did God Make a
Mistake?” covered it all very well, the story down through the ages of prophet
after prophet who were given unorthodox messages and means of getting God’s
point across, proving that God is certainly not bound to our limited and
conventional means and mindsets!
* * *
But the other side of this “abdicating my right to choose” and
“unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they say” is that I can speak
up, I’m encouraged to do so, and I most certainly do! Mama and Peter, taking
into consideration that they are the Lord’s prophets and His chosen shepherds of
our Family, are incredibly open and have made it clear that they welcome and
desire our comments, thoughts, observations and feelings. About what?-Anything
and everything!
I and the other CROs have had the blessing of being able to receive
some of the New Wine in rough draft form before it comes out to the Family,
particularly some of the series which will have a major effect on the Family
such as the “Loving Jesus” series and the “Law of Love” series. We have been
asked to prayerfully read them and to submit any questions, comments,
reservations, possible reactions from our Family members, and anything we’d like
to contribute. You might ask, “Well, if prophecy is prophecy and the Lord is
guiding us through that, then why ask the opinions of others, and how can Mama
possibly change something that may be in question if it is the Lord Who gave
it?” I’ve asked that question myself.
But I’ve seen a wisdom and openness and relationship with the Lord in
Mama which goes beyond merely taking dictation and proceeding without question.
Mama takes her “winetaster” role very seriously, and in order to be able to see
and understand all angles of a situation, she often employs the help of others-a
very wise thing to do! And I am sure that each one of us who has ever been asked
has been very desperate to be a “wise counselor” to her.
And as far as “unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they
say”-well, as I explained, we can question, just as can you. Mama has encouraged
legitimate questions, and has encouraged the shepherds of the Family (whether
Continental or Area or Home), to help direct anyone with questions to the
appropriate answers in the Word, or to ask the Lord for the answers if none can
be found. You and I are also free to ask questions directly of Mama, and these
are also welcomed.
But there does come a time when our role is to “unquestioningly
believe and obey whatever they say”-or rather whatever the Lord gives them. This
is the proverbial “bottom line,” and the point of faith that each of us must
have in order to be a Charter Member-that we “believe that David was God’s
Endtime prophet and that Maria is God’s chosen and anointed successor, who has
inherited David’s mantle as God’s prophetess.” (From The Love Charter.) This is
my belief in the Lord’s calling and anointing upon them and in the Words the
Lord gives through them. And as such, I choose to follow where the Lord leads
them, as I certainly trust their channel more than my own-both because of the
fruit I’ve seen the Lord’s Words through them bear, as well as because of the
experiences I have of them being truly motivated and loving and sincere
shepherds and followers of our King.
It’s simple arithmetic, if you believe the spiritual principles upon
which the theocracy of the Family is founded. Such following of the Word doesn’t
detract from our Charter rights to hear and find the Lord’s will for ourselves
and our own lives. It’s just that as Family members, one of the things we
believe and adhere to is that we have a spiritual king and queen, prophets who
hear from God, and who we look to for our guidance through this ever-darkening
world.
But I understand how it’s so easy, once the filter of faith is knocked
askew somewhat, to see things in a totally different light than when looking
through spiritually seeing eyes. What we see and believe in the realm of the
spirit is a very delicate thing-it’s there and it’s real and it’s so precious,
to be tended and nurtured with great care. But there are so many things which
can spoil it or cause it to dim or even be lost completely-compromise;
bitterness and resentment; pride; the admittance of pollutants such as System
attitudes and values which go contrary to the Word, but which can seem so
logical and right; not standing up for our beliefs in the face of mockery and
criticism, thus weakening our conviction by accepting the shame in our beliefs
that people place on us, etc.
It could be any one of these things that has caused the path which
some of our former members describe to sound so different than the one which I
have experienced during my years in the Family. That’s not to say that it’s been
without its battles and trials and disappointments at times. But the truth
stands sure-and I’m standing up too. I’m standing up and proclaiming that I’m
putting my lot in with the Lord and His guidance of this Family through our
loving Dad and Mama and Peter, and with the future which He’s moving us towards.
The day of march has surely come, and I am thankful that I can say “I am not
ashamed; for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to
keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2Tim.1:12).
Yes, I’m Proud of Our Family!
By Francis Fisherman, 31, Mama’s Home
Hi! I’m Francis Fisherman. I’ve been living in Mama and Peter’s Home
for about five years now, and was in another WS unit for a year before that. I
work closely with Mama and Peter, and with Peter in particular since I assist
them with matters that concern the administration of the Family. I also oversee
the production of our GP materials, the Activated program, marketing of our
tools, and related projects.
I wasn’t born in the Family, but my parents joined when I was three,
so I was raised in the Family almost my whole life. I’m 31 now, so I don’t know
whether I still qualify as a “young person,” but I still feel like one, and I
still think like one in many ways. I can certainly relate to and identify with
the SGAs who may be younger than me, but who share the same common background
and heritage.
I’m writing this in response to the letter that James Penn (Phil)
wrote with his thoughts on the Family, our doctrine, leadership, WS, and Mama
and Peter. I lived with James for a year prior to coming to Mama and Peter’s
Home, and communicated with him a fair bit after that on work-related issues,
until his decision to leave the Family a year or so ago. I got along well with
James, or Ray as he went by at the time, and he was fun and interesting to talk
with. So knowing James, it saddened me to read the accusations that he put in
his letter, especially those against Mama and Peter. It was just hard to believe
that this was the same person that I knew and lived with. He’s very logical and
a good debater, but the bitterness was just too obvious in his writings. People
change, I guess.
I can understand James’ and other former members doctrinal differences
with the Family. A lot of people disagree with Loving Jesus, the use of so much
prophecy in the Family, the Law of Love, etc., and that’s just fine with me. I
don’t really care what other people think about those things and whether they
think these or other Family doctrines are right or wrong. The way I look at it,
if I’m going to believe in something, I believe in it not because other people
agree with me or not-but because I believe it to be so, because examination of
the facts, and what I feel in my heart, convince me that it is so. Those who
disagree are entitled to believe what they want. We’ll find out in the afterlife
who was right and who was wrong, and we can sort it out then. I don’t care for
theological debates that much actually (other than for the purpose of witnessing
and getting people saved)-I’m mainly concerned with whether I’m doing the best
thing that I can do with my life here on Earth. The belief stuff we can sort out
when we get to Heaven.
Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t care about the
Family’s beliefs and doctrines, and that I don’t believe them. I do believe in
them strongly. But I don’t like debating doctrine, because faith is a personal
conviction, not something that can be resolved through debate and logic. If it
was always logical, then it wouldn’t be faith, “for hope that is seen is not
hope” (Romans 8:24). All that to say, I’m not going to get into that here.
But the things James and others have said about Mama and Peter really
upset me, because I live with them, and have lived and worked very closely with
them for the past five years. James hasn’t lived with them for many years (I
don’t know exactly how many, but at least eight or nine), nor even worked that
closely with them via mail for the five years that I’ve been in this Home, so I
don’t know how he can pass himself off as an authority on what they’re like. If
anyone’s an authority on Mama and Peter’s character, it’s those of us who have
lived and worked with them every day in recent years.
So I feel compelled to write up some of the true “inside scoop” of
what life is really like here and what Mama and Peter are really like and what
their leadership is like. I not only live in this Home, but I teamwork with
Peter closely. (I don’t interact with Mama as much as I do Peter, but still a
fair bit-and I did more so a couple of years ago when helping her with various
pubs projects.) As such, I’m privy to a lot of information about how the Family
is run, what decisions are reached by Mama and Peter, how those decisions are
reached and the prayer and reasoning behind them, the communications that go out
of here, etc. I’m not trying to boast, but I think it’s helpful to explain that
I’m pretty in the know about what goes on here, unlike some people who claim to
be, but aren’t!
Let me explain a few things about myself. I don’t consider myself to
be a very spiritual person. I love the Lord, I believe in the Word and the
Family, but I’m a very pragmatic, down-to-earth type of person. I like to deal
in facts and figures, not feelings. I’m a lot like a number of other SGAs I
know, in that I’m quite analytical and I like to look at things as logically as
possible. I like to be convinced about things in my heart, and I don’t just
accept things at face value. I’m a far cry from the “unquestioning believer and
obeyer” WS stereotype that James tried very hard to portray in his letter.
C’mon, James, I thought you knew me better than that.
In fact, I’m a bit of a tough nut, and if you thought that Mama and
Peter only live with people who are blindly yielded to anything they say, and
ready to do anything just because they say so, then if you knew me you’d
probably wonder what in God’s Earth am I doing in their Home, much less working
closely with them? I wonder that myself sometimes, ha! For one, it’s because
Mama and Peter don’t care to surround themselves with “yes men” who are just
going to unquestioningly follow their every word without raising a peep! And I’m
living proof to that. (Oops, there went another of James’ theories.)
At the same time, as I mentioned before, I have learned that there
comes a time when I just have to make a decision whether or not to believe and
accept something even if I don’t understand it and can’t reason it out. That’s
called faith. I’m faced with that sort of decision from time to time. Some of
the things that the Lord has shown Mama and Peter, like the Loving Jesus
revelation, or so much use of prophecy, have not always been easy for me to
understand or accept. Some of these things I couldn’t reason out in my mind
completely. So I’ve had to make a choice to accept those things by faith because
I believe that Mama and Peter are being led of the Lord and they’re hearing from
Him, or else believe that they’re either making this stuff up or being duped by
the Devil. That’s really what it comes down to.
Fortunately for me, I have an advantage in that I know Mama and Peter
very well. So when it comes down to that decision, it’s not a difficult one. I
logically examine each of the possible options:
1. “They’re just making the Lord’s Words up as part of their master
strategy plan to get us to follow their delusions:” For that to happen, they’d
have to be pulling the wool over my eyes and the eyes of a lot of other people
in our Home. Pretty impossible, if I might say so. I live with some folks who I
consider pretty intelligent and sharp, both FGAs and SGAs. I have a real hard
time picturing them as mindless. If you don’t mind, I have a hard time picturing
myself as mindless too, ha! Also, Mama and Peter would have to be somehow
sending me subliminal messages so that when I pray and hear from the Lord
myself, unsolicited by them, and ask the Lord about things in the GNs, what I
get from the Lord confirms what they got. Sorry, I don’t believe in magic mind
manipulation, at least not my mind-not to mention everyone else’s here.
2. “They’re being duped by the Devil into leading the Family astray:”
If there is anyone who I know loves Jesus with all their heart, it’s Mama, and
Peter too. I never met Dad personally, but from reading the nearly 3,000 Letters
that he wrote, regardless of what people accuse him of or what mistakes he made,
I could feel an unquestionable love for and devotion to Jesus. And I feel the
same from Mama and Peter. I’ve seen it day after day in countless examples.
They’re always praising Jesus, thanking Jesus, talking about Jesus, pointing me
to Jesus-their lives are full of Jesus. I don’t even think our bitterest enemies
could accuse Dad and Mama of not lifting up Jesus. So how could the Devil be
promoting so much Jesus in my life? It doesn’t make sense. So I can very easily
eliminate this option.
3. So that leaves me with option 3, which is that they are being led
by the Lord and His Spirit. It’s the only explanation left. So I believe it, and
I trust them. I’m reminded of the verse, “Beware lest ye be found to fight
against God.” If it is the truth and I resist it and find out I’m wrong later on
when I get to Heaven, then I’ll be sorry in the end.
One thing I know for sure is that I don’t have the same love and
devotion for Jesus that Dad did, and that Mama and Peter do. I love the Lord
with all my heart and try my best to serve Him, but if I’m honest with myself I
know it doesn’t match theirs. So who should I trust to be right about whether
something is from the Lord or not? Should I trust myself, or should I trust Mama
and Peter? I’d much rather trust them, because I know they’re closer to Jesus
than I am. I see it in their daily lives. (I’m certainly not going to trust
James and what he says, because I don’t know much about his love and dedication
for the Lord, nor have I seen the fruits of it recently; rather to the contrary,
sadly.)
And if I’m having a real hard time with something, like I did with so
much emphasis on prophecy at the beginning, or even with certain specific
prophecies, here’s how I look at it: I trust Mama and Peter because of the
sample that I’ve seen in them of dedication to Jesus and lifting up Jesus-not
themselves, but Jesus. But even if-worst case scenario-we get to Heaven and I
find out that Mama and Peter were wrong, and that it was all made up or a
delusion, and that the Lord never told them to hear so much from Him in
prophecy, and that the Loving Jesus revelation was just their own imagination,
that the Law of Love didn’t originate from Heaven either, that the prophecies in
the GNs were false, what is Jesus going to do? Is He going to punish me for
trying to hear from Him more? Is He going to be upset at me for trying to love
Him more with all my heart and mind and even body? Is He going to berate and
cast me out for trying to be a sample of His love to others by sharing sexually
with them? C’mon, let’s be real here! If He would, He’s not the Jesus I read
about in the Bible, so I might as well throw the whole thing out and become an
atheist!
So as you can see, even when looking at things in a totally logical
analytical way, I figure it’s a win-win situation! Not that we should be looking
at things analytically, but occasionally when my faith has been tested and
tried, it has helped me to break things down like this and find that indeed I am
doing the right thing by placing my trust in Dad, Mama and Peter.
So in writing about Mama and Peter, and the accusations that James
(and others) make against them, my comments are built on the foundation that I
trust Mama and Peter. That’s really what it comes down to in the end, doesn’t
it? Now James might say that I’m just following blindly, but trust is not blind
acceptance. Rather, trust is something that is built up over time as a result of
events or interaction in which you know the person to be truthful, honest,
loving, and worthy of that trust. My experiences in the Family for years, and
then living and working with Mama and Peter, have resulted in that trust being
built up. It was not an overnight thing, but rather came about as I saw
firsthand their sample of love for Jesus, and became convinced of their love and
concern for the Family and for the lost.
I think it’s that last point that has made the biggest impression on
me. I have had a lot of discussions with Peter about Family policy, or certain
situations, and he always shows a great deal of concern for each Family member,
and how such and such a policy is going to affect them. He makes it clear that
our job as leaders in the Family is to serve the folks in each Home, to help
them fulfill their calling of serving the Lord. Yes, I am a servant. But I’m not
a servant to Mama and Peter, even though I work for them. Ultimately I’m a
servant to Jesus and the Family, and that’s what Mama and Peter are too. You
know the Letter, “Without Love It’s Nothing”? Well, the love and concern that
Dad shows for the Family in that Letter expresses very well how I’ve seen Peter
operate.-And Mama too, of course. I’m just talking more about Peter because I
work with him more closely than I do Mama. His sample is very convicting in that
regard.
It’s very evident in the regular counsel meetings that Peter and
Matthew and I have together that Peter carries the responsibility of co-leading
the Family with Mama very seriously, and it’s a heavy weight on his shoulders.
He and Mama do it because the Lord has given them this job and they love Him and
don’t want to fail Him, and because they really care about each Family member. I
know from talking with them that their goal is to give their lives so that we
all can serve the Lord better. As a result of their sample, that has become my
goal as well.
But I know for a fact that they would not want the job if it was just
for their own benefit or gratification. I see what they do, I know what their
job entails, and believe me, as young and ambitious a person as I am, I would
not want the job. It’s a horrible weight! Just the knowledge that about 13,000
people around the world are looking to you for direction and the Lord’s Words,
plus the practical side of running such a multi-faceted organization such as we
have in the Family with the needs of so many different people to
consider-children, parents, singles, single parents, teens, outside sheep,
catacombers, etc.-is frightening! And then on top of it to have people attacking
you for it and persecuting you! I’m amazed that they don’t have a nervous
breakdown! I guess it’s just their faith in the Lord that He’s in control.
Speaking of Mama, I have never in my life seen someone work as hard as
she does. She is a living example of a shepherd laying down her life for the
sheep (despite James’ claims to the contrary). I consider myself to be a hard
worker, but I don’t hold a candle to Mama. Her life is her work, and her work is
100% devoted to helping the Family, answering people’s questions, going over the
pubs, praying about and for situations that need help. I like to take days off,
have fun, play games, watch movies, etc., but she doesn’t do any of that-well,
hardly ever. I wish she would take more time off! I have to admit that at times
it’s even bothered me that she works so hard, because in my pride I’ve felt that
I have to match that, and I can’t. It would be interesting to calculate exactly
what her daily average of work hours is, but my estimate from living with her is
around 14-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. No matter what she’s doing, she’s
almost always got a taperecorder going and is listening to some work.
So what’s my point? My point is, why in the world would anyone work as
hard as Mama with so little in return? She and Peter are well established as the
leaders of the Family, just like Dad was before them. She could work less than
half as much as she does now, and the Family would keep on going and serving the
Lord without hardly a hiccup. So why do it? For money? I happen to know a bit
about the Family finances from working with Peter, and I know that what comes in
goes back out in services to the Family. So no money. Even our enemies know
that. For power? Just to feel in control? Just to get people’s adoration? People
in the System do push themselves very hard to get that sort of thing. But in
Mama’s case that logic doesn’t fit, because she could have all that with much
less effort on her part. If her motives were selfish, she wouldn’t push herself
to the limit for the Family like she does. Besides, she’s always pointing me to
Jesus, trying to get me to hear from Jesus personally, not to go to her for the
answers to things, but to go to Jesus. That’s not a “cult of the personality,”
it’s a “Jesus cult,” ha! I am therefore convinced, both from her words and her
deeds, that what motivates her is Jesus, pure and simple. Love for Jesus,
obedience to Jesus. “The love of Christ constraineth her.”
Here’s an example of this: There have been a couple of times over the
past few years when I’ve asked Mama about cutting down on the number of GNs that
we send out to the Family. Not because I feel there’s anything wrong with the
GNs, but it’s a heck of a lot of work to get them all out! It takes a real toll
on Mama, as well as on a few other very dedicated souls in our Home who help
her. Plus it costs money, is more work for the NPCs, etc. What do you think
Mama’s answer was each time we discussed it? “What about the folks who are
having battles about such-and-such and need some counsel on that subject?” “What
about the parents whose kids have left the Family and are in need of
encouragement and are desperate to know what the Lord has to say about it?”
“What about the young people who are faced with questions on what to do about
such-and-such?” “What about the bad samples in our Homes that need to be
addressed and corrected so that they can reflect more the spirit of Jesus?” And
so on. My thoughts were, “They’ll get by on a little less-let’s slow it down.”
(Now aren’t you glad that Mama doesn’t listen to everything her counselors tell
her? Ha!) But her response was along the lines of, “But if it will help them,
shouldn’t we give it to them while we have it beside us to give? Why wait if
they need the help now?”
There are so many different people in the Family and each has
different needs, and Mama tries as hard as she can to receive (through Peter and
her channels in our Home) and pass on the Lord’s counsel on those issues. And
sure enough, we get back responses to each of those GNs from someone, saying how
much it helped them and came at just the right time. And as far as Mama is
concerned, if it’s even just for that one person, then it’s worth it. And
there’s no one making her do it except the conviction of the Holy Spirit in her
heart. To me that is unquestionable proof of her love and devotion to all of us,
and the purity of her motives.
James says that Mama and Peter are, and I quote, “abusive,
controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful, and callous leaders who
were willing to do just about anything to save their reputations and preserve
their image.” He says that he reached this conclusion after years of living and
working with them years ago. I didn’t live with them years ago, so I can’t speak
for then. So maybe five years ago, when I moved into their Home, Mama and Peter
had a miraculous conversion from being horrible people to the very loving and
concerned people that I’ve known-and continue to know-them to be. Likely? I
think not.
As far as being willing to do anything to preserve their own image,
that’s an easy one to disprove. If there was anything that risked destroying
Mama and Peter’s image, it was the Loving Jesus revelation. If they were selfish
and concerned about keeping the Family under tight control, being of good
reputation, etc., then publishing that revelation was the stupidest move they
could have ever made. And they’re far from stupid-even those who disagree with
them can attest to that. I was with them when they published the Loving Jesus
revelation and talked with them extensively about it (unlike James, who was not
living with them at the time). I even argued in favor of postponing publishing
it for the Family because I didn’t think that people could handle it. I have to
confess that I was more worried about their reputation than they were. But they
were convinced it was from the Lord, and therefore chose to “obey God rather
than man,” regardless of the consequences to their leadership or reputation. I
personally don’t know anyone else who would have had that kind of courage.
That’s why I’m proud of serving Jesus with them. They don’t compromise for
personal gain, no matter what the cost.
And the result? Sure, some people left the Family over the Loving
Jesus revelation, but our stats show that the Family’s population is still
growing. 1204 disciples, not counting babies born, have joined the CM Family
since the LJ revelation was published. Interestingly enough, that’s a 25%
increase over the 5 years prior to the LJ revelation, when only 964 new
disciples joined the CM Family. (I use CM stats in this example because people
joining the FM Family wouldn’t even necessarily know much about the LJ
revelation.) James, on the other hand, affirms that “no adult in his right mind
joins the Family anymore these days.” So in case you didn’t know it, all of you
who have joined the CM Family in the last few years are not in your right mind.
So maybe you were brainwashed into joining the Family. Oh yes, I forgot,
sociologists have disproved brainwashing. Uh, let’s see, maybe you were
love-bombed? Oh, right, we don’t allow sex with new disciples anymore, so
scratch that one. Let me see, could it be that you joined the Family to serve
Jesus? No, certainly not. No one in their right mind would want to serve Jesus,
right?
Back to LJ. Despite the fact that some have left, I’ve read hundreds
of responses from Family members around the world saying how much it has helped
them. Last year we conducted an anonymous survey of 600 Family members (16 and
up) in South America, and 98.4% said that they accept or believe in the LJ
revelation. And 79.9% said that they practice it personally in some form. In
addition, 88% said that the LJ revelation has had either a “great” (55.7%) or
“some” (31.5%) improvement in their relationship with the Lord. So, were 600
people lying? To claim that a few might have fudged their anonymous
questionnaire I would accept, but 600? To what purpose?
So the numbers prove that the LJ revelation has had a positive
influence on the Family. Sure it’s radical. I don’t understand it all myself.
But who cares? Do I want to be closer to Jesus? Yes! If loving Jesus intimately
will help me reach that goal, then so be it! And like I said earlier, if it
turns out when I get to Heaven that I was deluded, I know the Lord will give me
credit for trying anyway!
James says that “Maria and Peter have debased the wonderful gift of
prophecy. They have twisted and manipulated prophecy to serve their own ends and
control the Family, so that it is difficult to believe any of their prophecies …
destroying its value by printing too much so that it becomes worthless.” He uses
the analogy of a currency losing its value through overprinting. The problem
with that analogy is that the reason a currency devalues when a government
prints too much of it is they don’t have enough gold or other hard assets to
back it up. And unlike gold or precious metals, Jesus never runs out; there’s an
unlimited supply of Him. Therefore, it’s not possible to dilute the value of
prophecy, no matter how much of it is used or published. To say that prophecy
can be diluted is tantamount to saying that Jesus is limited in His capacity to
speak, or that He’s not as all-powerful as we believe Him to be. That strikes at
the very heart of Christian belief.
As far as manipulation through prophecy, when I first started out
hearing from the Lord more, Mama was more involved. I wasn’t used to hearing
from the Lord about everything, and I needed a lot of prodding and
encouragement. I also needed to learn how to hear from the Lord-mostly about
really clearing my mind of my own thoughts in order to get the Lord’s mind on
the matter. Mama was a good teacher. But she didn’t dictate what I should be
getting from the Lord. In time I became more used to hearing from the Lord about
things without her having to remind me. Now, when a work question comes up that
I’m responsible for, I go to the Lord and ask Him for His answer. Mama doesn’t
even know about most of those prophecies because they are about minor issues
regarding my day-to-day work and decisions. That’s a far cry from manipulation.
There have been a couple of times when Mama and Peter have given me prophecies
that talked pretty straightforwardly about my NWOs. They were difficult for me
to receive. But the reason is not because they were untrue, but because I’m a
proud guy and it’s sometimes hard to admit to myself the areas I need to change
and grow in. Were they using prophecy to manipulate me or berate me into
submission? No. They could have sat down and told me the same things in their
own words, but instead someone had prayed and gotten it from the Lord. What
difference does it make? It was true either way.
What about the accusations of the total control that Mama and Peter
exercise over those in WS, and by extension, the Family? That they suffer no
dissent or difference of opinion? Over the years that I’ve lived with Mama and
Peter, I have had quite a few differences of opinion with them. I’ve discussed a
lot of issues with them-little issues, big issues. I’ve always found Mama and
Peter willing to listen. It’s one of the things that amazes me the most about
them, their willingness to listen despite being very, very busy. They never blow
me off.
Three or four days ago, Peter was getting ready to go on a trip and
was very busy with last-minute prep. Despite that, he took about two hours to
talk with me about some things. In the course of our conversation I asked him a
couple of pretty heavy questions regarding past Family policies. Most people
would have been very hesitant to ask those questions. It’s no credit to me that
I did ask-it’s just that I know Peter (and Mama) well enough to know that his
response would be prayerful and loving, not defensive or retaliatory, not
cutting me down or accusing me of being “disloyal” or “unyielded.” He encouraged
me to share my heart, answered my questions, we talked about it and discussed
it. I made some suggestions that someone who was used to “being kept in line
with a great deal of fear” (as per the “Gospel According to St. James”), and who
was used to being “manipulated, controlled, bullied and belittled,” would not in
a million years have dared to make! But Peter took it in stride and was very
open to what I had to say, and we talked about it quite openly.
If there’s one thing that Peter and Mama have encouraged me in the
most, it’s to share my heart with them about things that bother me, things that
I have questions about or I don’t agree with. Just in that conversation Peter
and I had a few days ago, he again asked me to please be open with them about
anything that’s on my heart.
So, far from being closed off to what others have to say and trying to
control them and their actions, Peter and Mama are extremely open to others. In
fact, they are some of the least sensitive people I know in that regard. I think
most people, myself included, would have a hard time with all the suggestions
and constructive criticism that they get-not to mention the unconstructive
criticism from those who dislike them. I don’t think I could take it like they
do, much less encourage it. They are shining examples in that area.
That’s not to say that they always agree with what everyone says. Like
I said, I’ve had differences of opinion with them, and we discuss things
together and pray about them. I (or others, as the case may be) make my
proposals of what I believe should be done, but the final decision is theirs.
Sometimes they’ll go with it but sometimes they don’t. And that’s their
prerogative as the top leaders with the ultimate responsibility for the effects
of their decision.
It’s the same in any company or organization, and there’s nothing evil
or sinister about it. A company CEO will consult with his VPs (vice-presidents)
and advisors, but when it comes down to it, he has to make the final decision
and bear the responsibility for it. And once the decision is made, the VPs’
responsibility is to make sure that decision is carried out to the best of their
ability. If it’s a big decision that they feel is wrong, they can appeal it, and
if the CEO stands firm in his decision, they can resign in protest if they
choose. It’s the same with me. There have been times (though not often), where I
didn’t agree with the final decision. But I know that I’m not always right, and
just because I don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I’ve
learned to trust the Lord in these cases.
A perfect example is the LJ revelation-I was worried that the Family
wouldn’t handle it and it could even cause serious division in the ranks. Time
showed the contrary to be true.
James writes, “I sometimes wonder how many Family members are
sincerely proud of all the Family’s present-day beliefs and practices.” Well, I
am for one! The Family has its faults, and there are things that I would like to
see change, and that are changing. We’re learning as we go. Show me something
better and I’ll go there. But so far no one has shown me anything better. So,
yes, I’m proud of what we’ve done and what we’re doing today for Jesus. And to
be honest with everyone reading this, no offense intended, but I don’t really
care whether the other 12,999 members are proud of the Family or not.
I’m not proud of the Family because 12,999 other people are proud of
the Family, I’m proud of it because I know for a fact that despite our many
faults and mistakes, we are trying to serve the Lord the best we know how, to be
a sample of His love, and fulfill His commandment to “go into all the world and
preach the Gospel to every creature.” And, if you don’t mind, speaking to my
peers in the Family, that’s why you should be in the Family too. If the
accusations of some former member make you ashamed of being in the Family, then
please go do something else with your life.
If as James-the new self-appointed spokesperson for Family
SGAs-claims, “Many, especially SGAs, have consciously decided to ignore the
doctrinal weirdness and simply use the Family infrastructure to carry out
‘Consider the Poor’ ministries,” then please go use someone else’s
infrastructure instead. If all you need is infrastructure, there are a lot
better ones than ours out there, with a lot more people and money to help you do
what you want to do. (Of course, if James’ claim was true, then why don’t those
SGAs who leave the Family and who say they feel this way join some other groups?
I haven’t heard of any joining the Peace Corps, Red Cross or some similar
outfit.) Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s honestly how I feel about
it.
That’s not to say that I’m so super strong and have never thought of
leaving the Family. Actually, I have battled with leaving the Family a number of
times. But it wasn’t because I thought what the Family was doing was so wrong
and that I was going to “escape” and do something better with my life. I might
have used that as an excuse, but inside my heart I knew that the reason I was
thinking of leaving was because I wanted to live for myself for a while, make
some money, do something a little easier than “laying down my life for the
brethren,” take a break and see what the System was really like.
I am convinced, however, that despite whatever problems, difficulties,
sacrifices or oddities living in the Family may present, the Family is the place
for me. And I can’t think of any two people more dedicated, prayerful, in love
with the Lord, and concerned for each and every Family member than Mama and
Peter. I gladly stand by and support them as the Lord’s appointed Family
leadership, and I can testify to seeing this anointing manifested daily in their
loving care for both you and me.
They Do Really Care!
-The truth about living with Dad, Mama and Peter
By Rose, Mama’s Home
My reaction when I hear these terrible accusations against Dad, Mama
and Peter is that it makes me mad, sad and definitely not glad! The parts I’ve
read have really made me upset, as they are for sure not true. Everything that
is quoted to be the life of living with Dad, Mama and Peter is just the
opposite! There just isn’t any comparison! I thought I’d tell you a little of
how it really is to live with them.
I came to live as a fulltime staff member with Dad, Mama and Peter in
1991, about 3½ years before Dad went to be with the Lord. (The first time I
lived with them was in 1987 for seven months.) At this time, since Dad was
getting older and needed more help, I was gradually with him fulltime and was
his nurse and helper until the moment the Lord took him Home. During the time
I’ve lived on the staff I have gotten to know Dad, Mama and Peter quite well and
been with them on a daily basis. I’ve been with them and around them and have
been partaking of their daily lives plenty over the months and years. Because I
go in and out of their room often, I’m often privy to the things they talk about
or the private conversations they’re having. In the course of helping and
serving them, I have naturally been around at different times when they have
talked to people or about situations and personal matters, or made comments
about people, and there is nothing that has stumbled me or come across as
unloving or harsh. I can truly say and testify that they are the most wonderful
and loving people I’ve ever known! They make you feel so appreciated and needed.
To say that they belittle and abuse people is something that I certainly don’t
understand, as nothing is farther from the truth!
I’ll start off with going back to the days living with Dad and give
you a few examples. I have very specific memories of Dad and his unending
thoughtfulness and unselfish care.
I remember clearly how he always used to pray for me at the end of the
day and tell me how thankful he was for me. He would always ask me if there was
anything that I needed. Here he was, often very sick and weak, couldn’t eat much
and not feeling well, and he would ask me how I was doing, if I lacked anything.
Such a sample of the Lord’s love of thinking of others instead of himself. I
often cried in thankfulness, being touched by feeling the Lord’s love and
concern through Dad.
For example, there were times when he was very ill and sick, and he
would get out of bed because he wanted to share the Lord’s love and messages
with us in a meeting. He then would ask us all how we felt, if any of us were
sick or weak or in need of prayer. He checked if we were comfortable during the
meetings, not too hot or cold. If anyone felt tired, he suggested they go and
rest. It was like watching a miracle, as the Lord would anoint him so for the
meeting and give him such supernatural strength and stamina which just wasn’t
there in the beginning. You knew it was the Lord’s power and blessing through
Dad thinking on the Lord and others above his own self. So to say that Dad was
selfish, I just cannot understand at all.
Dad was always very concerned about each and every one of us on the
staff. He would not rest until he knew that we were all okay, and would go way
out of his way to make sure that everyone was happy and fulfilled. If there were
any problem situations that needed help, he would counsel and do all he could to
help.
Not only was Dad concerned about us all, but he also had a tremendous
love and care for each and every one he came in contact with when out. He showed
appreciation and love to all, from beggars and waiters and waitresses, to
dentists and doctors-yes, to everyone. He was a faithful witnesser, always
lifting up the Lord! He would point his finger up to Heaven and always make it
clear that it’s all glory to God and nothing in himself. Over and over he would
emphasize that it was all the Lord. He didn’t like it when people tried to give
him the glory. People would feel the Lord’s Spirit and would be drawn to him in
admiration for the sample of the Lord’s love that he showed. He was sure a
testimony in everything that he did and said. He taught us when we were out to
really care about the ones we came in contact with and be good testimonies to
others.
Dad carried the Lord’s message to us all, whether in the Family or out
in the System, and even preached the Gospel to the animals and cared for them.
He cared about any animal he encountered, and it was a great sample to me how he
respected all living things and had a heart for everyone.
I must say that Dad was one of the most unselfish people I know! (The
other two I’m thinking of are Mama and Peter.) He would give the clothes off his
back and food off his plate to anyone who needed it. He never wasted anything,
and that was really one of his strong points, to give! There just isn’t any way
you could call him selfish or inconsiderate. So many times it would make you so
convicted to see his sample, and it sure made me pray to be more like him, which
is of course what being more like Jesus is.
This is how Dad was until the day the Lord took him Home. He even
wanted to go house hunting that very day, to help find us all a better place to
live. His thoughts were of others, even until his earthly end! The Lord sure
gave him a better place to live, and I’m so thankful that the Lord now has freed
him from the flesh and taken him into the Heavenlies with Him where I know his
rewards are great. And now he can continue helping us from the spirit and lead
and guide and teach us!
Right now I’m using Dad as an example, but the same is absolutely true
of Mama and Peter. I know that we all strive for more appreciation in our lives
with each other, but I must say that I am eternally thankful for the time that
I’ve had living with Dad, Mama and Peter, as I’ve experienced appreciation like
never before, and seen true-to-life examples of how they care for the “little
people.”
I guess being on the staff, I’ve often thought of myself as a little
person, as I don’t have a specialized pubs ministry calling, but have worked
more as a caretaker, cook, maid, done some secretarial work, etc. But one thing
I would like to say is how Dad, Mama and Peter have always made me feel so
appreciated and valued, and how they have never made me feel lower than anyone
else. You experience an unconditional love, which gives you faith and
encouragement to go on.
Another way that I can tell how concerned they are about others is how
they value each person that they hear about or are in contact with. It really
doesn’t matter if it concerns a CRO or a VS or a member of our Home or another
Home anywhere. They look at each person as a precious, priceless soul that the
Lord has created, and are concerned about each and every one.
One of the most precious ways to see this is how they pray for these
people. They can hear or read about someone, and they will immediately stop and
ask the Lord to bless that person, or ask the Lord to help them if there is a
problem, or heal them if they are sick, etc. I’m reminded of the verses that
says that not one little sparrow shall fall to the ground except the Lord knows
and allows it, and how each hair of our head is counted. This is how precious
each one is to Mama and Peter.
Oftentimes when we have prayer at our mealtimes, Mama will call us on
the intercom and remind us to pray for so-and-so and for such-and-such a
situation. She and Peter are both such samples of believing in prayer and having
the faith that the Lord will answer any petition, whether they’re for our Home
situation or for someone across the world, no matter how simple or complicated
something can be. You just know that nothing is too hard for the Lord.
A beautiful sample of Mama and Peter’s love for us all is how
concerned they are about everyone’s health and well-being. There has never gone
a day but that they will ask how everyone is doing and feeling. If there are any
health prayer requests, they will pray for that person and then also follow up
later, asking others to pray too and check and see if they’re getting better. It
can be as simple as a headache or a stomachache or a dentist check-up, but
nothing is too small for them to be concerned about. If there is anything of a
serious nature, we are often called upon to do prayer vigils, and usually
someone-or some ones-ask the Lord for encouragement and help for that person. I
know that I have been taught some good lessons in being my brother’s and
sister’s keeper, and it often convicts me to take time to pray and be concerned
about others.
I have witnessed, and still do, countless occasions day by day, Mama
and Peter taking time with people and situations, often sacrificing their time
and schedule and health and going out of their way to help out in whatever the
need is, in counseling, praying, etc. I have seen many lives changed because
they took time to help someone in need. There are numerous people who can
testify that Mama and Peter helped to pull them through when they needed it.
I only had a short time of experience working under System bosses
before I joined, as I was a student, but I must say that of anyone I have ever
worked under, there is just no comparison to working under Dad, Mama and Peter.
There are many wonderful Family leaders and shepherds who follow in the way of
the sample that the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter give. I do truly know that they
are the ones leading the way and teaching us all how to be loving samples and
shepherds to others.
One last thing I wanted to say is that I have never regretted the
calling that I heeded to come and work as the Folks’ staff member some years
ago, and I know I will continue doing it gladly as long as the Lord wants me to.
This has been one of my heart’s desires coming to pass in my life, and I know
that it’s a priceless opportunity and privilege, which I am truly thankful for.
So there is no need for you who read this to feel sorry for me, ha!
I pray that you will know the truth as you read this and other
testimonies. There is really no end of wonderful examples to share, but I pray
as you get a little glimpse through these paragraphs, that you will also be able
to partake of the wonderful truth about the life of Dad, Mama and Peter. They
love each one of us so and really give their lives for us daily. It seems that
the least we can do for them is to stand up for them and the truth and resist
the Enemy and his lies. We really owe them and Jesus so much for all they’ve
done and sacrificed for us! Fighting for the truth seems such a small token of
our love for them and the Lord, but it’s worth it! Let’s do it! I love you!
They Are My Friends
By James, Mama’s Home
I joined Dad and Mama’s Home in January 1992. Until that time, my main
ministry in the Family had been witnessing, and I had spent most of my time on
different mission fields. I had always considered myself a field person and
loved to be on outreach. In November of ‘91 I was invited to help out at a
Summit Meeting doing staff work, and right after the meetings were over I was
invited to WS. I thought that I would be going to another unit, but to my
surprise I went directly to Dad’s Home! At that time it was unusual for someone
to go directly to the Folks’ Home from the field, but there was a need at the
time and I was available, so off I went.
Before this I had never seriously considered going to WS, and I didn’t
really know what to expect. I guess I was expecting the Home to be very tight,
full of rules and do’s and don’ts, but was relieved to find out that I was
wrong! There were actually less rules and schedules than almost any Home I had
ever been in! It was a small Home, only about 12 at the time, but we all pitched
in and worked together well. There was a lot of unity, and we had a lot of fun.
I started working closely with Dad right after I got to the Home. We
were staying on a farm at the time, and Dad was involved with a number of
handyman and farm-related projects, so I began to work with him on a daily
basis. Even after we left the farm, I continued working closely with Dad right
up to the day he passed away.
It’s hard for me to explain what it was like being with Dad, and
knowing and working with him closely. He was a father and a friend to me. He was
young-spirited with lots of new ideas, but he was also the voice of wisdom and
experience and a real sample of prayerfulness. At first I was quite nervous
about meeting and working with him, but after the first day or two my fears
quickly vanished. I felt very comfortable with him and enjoyed being with him.
I’ve often thought about what it’s going to be like when we meet the Lord. I
think we’re going to find Him so loving and warm and we’re going to be so
comfortable with Him that we’re going to want to be around Him all the time!
Well, that’s kind of the way it was with Dad. I loved working with him, going
out with him, sitting in his classes, and just being with him.
When I think about my times with Dad, many different experiences and
stories flood my mind. For example, just a few days after I joined the staff,
Dad and the other handyman were working on a building project and they wanted to
get an early start, and Dad invited me to join them if I felt up to it. So I
showed up bright and early in the morning and ready to work. Dad was a bit
surprised as he thought I was going to sleep in. (Both Dad and Mama have always
been concerned that we get enough sleep and rest.) Dad told me that I didn’t
need to get up so early, and then he said, “Son, contrary to what others may
think, this is a voluntary army.” Meaning that he didn’t want me to feel
pressured, or feel that I had to work if I was tired and needed to rest. There
was a genuine concern and care for people, that no one was overworked or didn’t
get enough rest.
At the same time we worked hard, but a lot was left up to our own
initiative. When we were given a project to do, or if we were responsible for
something in the Home, then we were expected to pray and come up with ideas and
to do it. The Folks wanted people to think for themselves; they didn’t want to
have to tell us how to do every little thing. They wanted us to see the need and
respond, and they wanted it to come from the heart. And that’s the way the Home
was run; everyone was expected to take initiative and do their part.
Dad also had a lot of faith, but he was understanding of others who
didn’t have as much faith as he did. I remember how I needed to hammer a nail
into a wooden frame that was adjacent to a large pane of glass. I was afraid
that the glass would shatter or crack from the vibrations, so I was gently
tapping in this nail and being ever so careful. Dad was there watching me do
this, and after awhile said, “Son, let me do that.” And he took the hammer and
boldly pounded the nail with just a few strokes and the glass was fine. Then he
just laughed and said, “You see, you just need more faith!”
Another time I was painting the outside of the house and Dad was
holding the ladder for me. I had to paint the top edge of the house, so I had my
paint bucket on the top of the roof. Dad suggested I balance the bucket on the
top rung of the ladder, as it would be closer to me that way. So I tried it, but
I wasn’t so sure of doing it that way, as I was afraid that the bucket would
fall. Dad right away noticed that and said, “Son, you’re the one that’s
painting, so put the bucket wherever you feel comfortable with it; it’s
according to your faith.” And that’s the way Dad was, he would sometimes give
ideas and suggestions, but he expected us to operate according to our own faith.
During the last couple years of Dad’s life, his body had grown quite
weak. He especially had a hard time walking long distances as he would become
weary quickly. His mind was very much alert and he would still want to go places
and do things, but his body just couldn’t keep up with his mind. So towards the
end we would push Dad around in a wheelchair, and that way he could get out and
about and not get tired. He never did lose that pioneering spirit!
Anyhow, Dad was always trying to improve things and find a better way,
and he wasn’t afraid to try something new, even if it seemed a bit wild. So
talking about wild ideas, he had the idea to replace his thin wheelchair tires
with thick mountain bike tires, so he could have a smoother ride. It wasn’t easy
to do this, as the spokes and the hub were all different, but after a few
modifications, we succeeded. The only problem was that the mountain bike tires
were a bit higher than the original ones, so the back end of the wheelchair was
slightly raised, and the seat sloped downwards a bit. But we decided to go on a
test ride to see how it would work.
It was working just fine until I hit a dip in the road, which caused
us to come to an abrupt halt-and because of the slope of the seat, Dad went
sliding right off the front and landed on the ground! I just stood there, dazed
and shocked, as I felt Dad must’ve been hurt for sure. But he just calmly said,
“Well, Son, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me up?”
As it turned out, Dad wasn’t hurt at all, and actually thought it was quite
funny. He used to joke with me about that afterwards and say things like, “Why
did you throw me off the wheelchair that day?” That’s another thing I liked
about Dad, he had a sense of humor.
But perhaps what I remember most and liked the best about Dad was his
outgoing love and concern for others. We in the Home felt and experienced this
love, but it wasn’t just with us, he was that way with others too. When we took
him out in the wheelchair he would always be kind to people he’d meet and was a
faithful witness as well. I remember in particular this one elderly lady who we
kept running into. She was quite poor and Dad would always say hi to her and
give her a small donation, and make her feel loved and special. She loved Dad
and would just light up whenever she would see him. But there was a period of a
couple of months when we didn’t see her.
Then one day we ran into her again at a small café. Dad was so happy
to see her and right away asked me for some money. Then he got out of his
wheelchair, which took a lot of effort for him, walked over to this lady, put
the money in her hands and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I was watching the
lady’s face, and immediately tears came to her eyes (and mine as well), as she
was so touched that this man would be so sweet and loving to a little old nobody
like her. But that’s the way Dad was. Everyone was important to him, and he
seemed to be extra loving and sweet to those little nobodies who really needed
love and encouragement.
Shortly after this, Dad passed away. This lady was so sad when she
heard the news and asked us if she could have a picture of him to remember him
by. She then prayed with us and received the Lord in her heart.
After Dad passed away, I remember wondering what would happen to our
Home. I always felt that Dad was the radical one; he always loved change and
doing new things. Mama was the more cautious one, and I thought that things were
going to be boring without Dad around, ha! It’s funny when I think back about
those things now, as Mama definitely inherited Dad’s mantle and there have been
lots of changes!
Things have changed after Dad passed away, just like the Lord said
they would in all those “New Day” prophecies. Our Home, and WS in general, has
changed a lot since then. For one, we have a lot of young people in WS now, and
they sure make our Homes fun and exciting. I can’t imagine what WS would be like
without them! But our Home, and the other WS units, had to change and adapt when
we started to take in young people. We couldn’t operate the way we had in the
past, because if you know young people, they need change and variety and
excitement in their lives. It’s not like we didn’t have fun before, but it was
different with just FGAs in our Home. FGAs can sit for long hours at their desk
and find fulfillment and challenge from their work, but SGAs need more than
that. They do very well with their work, but they generally need more changes,
activities, fellowship, etc., than the FGAs. So our WS Homes have changed a lot
over the last five or six years.
Sometimes I hear things that some former WS members have said or
written about their life in WS, and it really makes me wonder. Some of these
people I know, but I also know that they haven’t lived with Dad or Mama and
Peter since I’ve been on the staff, and that’s going on nine years now! To me
it’s like someone saying, “Yes, I know about computers, I used to work with them
ten years ago.” Well, a lot has changed since the days of 286’s! And if you
haven’t continued working with computers, then you have no idea of the progress
and incredible changes that have taken place, and how the computer world is very
different now than it was back then! It’s like these guys are living in the
past, and they don’t really have the scoop of what it’s like now.
That’s one thing that I love about Mama and Peter-they’re probably the
newest bottles of us all! They’re always willing to try and do something new,
which is evidenced by all the changes and new moves that have been happening in
the spirit. But I must admit that some of these changes have been difficult for
me as well. The “Loving Jesus” revelation and some of the New Wine was hard for
me to swallow and receive at first. But I feel I have an advantage over a lot of
people in the Family, because I know Mama and Peter well, and have lived and
worked with them for years now. I know how much they love the Lord and how
sincere they are, and how desperate they are to follow Him closely. I’ve seen
how prayerful they are and how they don’t make a move without making sure it is
the Lord’s will. So it’s easier for me to trust the Lord and accept these
things, because I know the “source.” It’s easier for me to trust that the fruit
will be good as I know the tree.
I’ve often felt if people could know them like I do, it would help to
alleviate or erase any doubts or questions they may have. I sometimes feel if I
was still on the field and I heard some of those accusations about Mama and
Peter and WS, I wonder how I would receive it. I’m no spiritual giant, and I
could easily get hit with doubts or questions and begin to wonder if those
things are true. It’s just the Lord’s mercy that He placed me where I am, and
I’m very thankful for that. But I also feel it’s a responsibility, because very
few people know the Folks in such a personal way like I do, so I feel I need to
speak up to help set the record straight.
It’s as if you have a close friend, and this friend is being accused
of all sorts of things, but you know that these things they’re being accused of
aren’t true, as you’ve lived with that person and have known him for many years.
Wouldn’t you feel that you needed to speak up on their behalf? Well, if you
didn’t, I wouldn’t consider you much of a friend.
Well, Mama and Peter are my friends, and I know them well. Not only
have I lived with them for years, but I’ve also worked closely with them. I feel
I can talk to them about anything. I often share my thoughts and ideas with
them, and I come up with some pretty wild and far- out ones, but I don’t
hesitate to share them even if they are kind of wild, as I know they’re very
open to ideas and suggestions and they believe in counseling. And I appreciate
their counsel very much. I know that they will prayerfully consider and discuss
and pray about issues, and I’ve learned over the years that they’re usually
right.
I’ve gone on different trips with both of them. I was able to travel
with Peter on his visitation trips to both the Far East and to South America.
For the past year-and-a-half I’ve helped to shepherd their Home, so I’ve been in
many meetings with them and in close communication with them. I know how they
work and I know how they are. I know how they treat people. And this is what I
like the best about them-the patience and love and faith that they have in
people. They’re very concerned about each and every one of us. They live their
whole lives for us. Nearly every waking hour Mama is either listening to tapes,
or going over the pubs, or praying and discussing with different ones, doing all
she can for us. Peter is also constantly pouring out and holding meetings and
doing all he can, to the point that he often becomes weakened and worn out
physically.
I’ve been in meetings where they’ve talked about personnel, and I’ve
been amazed at how much patience and love and faith they have in people.
Sometimes I tend to feel frustrated about people or situations, but the Folks
seem to have an unlimited amount of love and patience. But their love and
concern pays off, and it’s manifested in the lives of those who know them well.
A number of people have joined the staff and a number of others have visited
over the years, and I think they can all testify that their lives have been
touched in a special way. I look back to how some of the young people were when
they first joined our staff, and how they’ve grown and matured and have become
so deep in the Lord, and it’s a beautiful thing. They’re happy and fulfilled and
doing a great work.
Sure, Mama encourages us all to pray and hear from the Lord and use
the new weapons, but again that’s part of her love for us. She knows that if
people do that, then they will be closer to the Lord and will be happier too.
And I can also testify of that from a shepherding viewpoint. When people do get
on board, they’re more inspired and have more joy of the Lord. They still have
battles, of course-everyone does-but they hear from the Lord and He speaks to
them wonderfully and gives them words of comfort and guidance and encouragement,
and shows them the path to victory. And as a shepherd, that makes my job a lot
easier, ha!
On the trips I’ve gone on, I’ve seen individuals or Homes or even
areas who weren’t so on board, and I’ve seen that these same ones were
uninspired, and struggling both materially and spiritually. Whereas I’ve been to
places where people have really tried to live the Letters and I’ve seen His
blessings on their lives and Homes. So of course the Folks encourage us all to
get on board and do our best for the Lord, as they love us and they know that
this is for our own good and benefit.
When I first prayed about writing this, the Lord reminded me of the
story of the blind man in the Bible who was healed when Jesus put clay on his
eyes and asked him to wash in the pool of Siloam (John Chapter 9). The Pharisees
who were there saw the miracle, but they still accused Jesus of being a
“sinner,” and they tried to persuade the people that He was not even of God. But
to the man it was obvious by the good that had happened in his life that Jesus
was a prophet. I have seen miracles of good fruit happen in my life and in the
lives of many others, so it’s quite obvious to me that Mama and Peter are of the
Lord. And I hope the experiences that I have shared with you will help to give
you a little clearer picture of what it’s like living with them.
(End of file.)
